Hi! Welcome to the CIA Airlines check-in desk. Could I ask you to itemize your hand luggage as you place it on the belt, sir?
Er, one holdall of shoes, running gear, and toiletries; one suitcase of casual clothes; one suit carrier containing three identical black suits and ties with matching Ray-Bans; one attaché case containing five million dollars in used and unmarked US dollars; one flight-case containing an unmanned killer drone; one cushioned rack containing guided missiles for the same; one encrypted, self-deleting hard drive detailing all black ops within the north Asian theatre since 1960; one non-metal handgun manufactured with captured alien materials technology; and two large, orange, chain-wreathed jumpsuits and blackout hoods, each containing a frightened Moroccan.
Well everything seems in order, sir. Would you prefer an aisle or window seat?
Window seat, please. I like to wave at the plane-spotters.