Hi, Knut. Jerry here.
Yeah, I’m afraid it is kinda bad news again. Look, I gotta be honest with you: Pixar have nixed the whole project. No, it wasn’t your fee—though I gotta say they thought the spec you were demanding for your Winnebago was, er, “unusual”.
You really wanna know? Hey, don’t take this the wrong way, but the words they used were: “Polar bears are kinda five minutes ago.”
Yeah, it was the otters again.
Hey, Knut, Knut. Take it easy. They’re just having their fifteen of fame. You’re an enduring icon. What can I say? They had a good pitch: “PAWS: A Sea Otter Story“.
No, I don’t know if they’re gay. I think they’re different sexes.
Hell, yeah, I guess it would be an angle if they were.
Yeah, like the penguins.
I’m telling you, man, there’s no “pink mafia”. Knut, I’m Jewish. You think I’d not notice if there was another minority group running Hollywood?
Yeah, Coke’s still interested, but they were wondering if you’d consider working with another bear.
Yeah, you’ll have to split the fee. Try to roll with it, my friend. Things move on.
Yeah, there’ll be hugging.
No, you don’t have to blow anyone!
They’re going for a kind of male bonding vibe: “relaxing with a cool drink after a hard day’s hunting” kinda thing.
Well, yeah, it’s funny you should say that. They do wanna use the theme from Brokeback Mountain—but in an ironic way…
[He puts the phone down.]
Jeez. Bear, can’t take a little joke. Maybe he’s got a sore head.
“Bear with a sore head”! Whaddya think of that, Rhona? I kill myself sometimes.