Following the Russian overhaul of the British Olympic medal tally, Russian President
Vladimir Putin Dmitry Medvedev has agreed to pull occupying troops back from South Kensingtonia. The president had argued that the democratically elected, ethnically Lithuanian leader of Londonia, Boris Johnson, had forced his hand through “[Johnson’]s encouragement of Britain’s recent atypical sporting aggression”.
The South Kensingtonians, consisting of a mixture of French aristocrats in exile, Arab royalty, and Russian Oligarchs have always had an uneasy relationship with surrounding Londonia. With the recent declaration of independence by Imperial College from Londonia University, and the concomitant acquisition of Imperial’s nuclear technology, tensions were already at a high—especially as the only students who can afford to study at IC are the offspring of overseas finance ministers.
Earlier in the week, a phalanx of urban assault vehicles had rolled into the surrounding regions of Chelski, Fulhistan, and Westminsk in response to the “outrageous provocation” of TeamGB’s performance in Beijing—though they held back from crossing the Thames to enter the undisputed no-man’s land south of the river. It had been some time before the advancing line of 4x4s was recognised as an invasion force because the Russians timed their operations to coincide with the usual hours of the school run.