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Return Of The Genome

Saturday’s Telegraph magazine’s weekly Social Stereotype invented a media-friendly academic called “Damian”*, so it’s perhaps not the best time to tell you that I’ve been commissioned [dahling!] to do the cover story for an upcoming edition of geek glossy Linux User. It will be an update of this piece about the human genome project(s) that […]

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Google Bible

I’ve reviewed this book about Google for the UK UNIX Users’ Group. I can’t link to the review because they don’t release the stuff from their magazine until months after it appears in print. In summary, it’s good enough that I would have paid for it if they hadn’t given me a free copy.

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Not Dead Yet

PooterGeek is number one hit on UK Google for “British cults“. One of the other top hits is a somehow less serious take on my belief that the people of this country are inherently less susceptible to murderous ideological extremism.

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An Alanis Moment

My friends will, I think, smile wryly at the news that PooterGeek is the sixth hit on Google for “beneficial effects of marriage“. [I could explain the “Alanis” reference here, but why bother shooting a fish in a bucket when plenty of people have bagged it already, including this guy? He’s wrong about her singing […]

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Goo Goo Ga Ga

Google exemplifies many of the best things about the Web. It even catalogues and copies the best things about the Web—and the worst things too. Its founders are self-mocking academics with a brilliantly simple idea, who hire hordes of PhD graduates to keep refining that idea in a never-ending race against nutters of every kind: […]

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I Am Spartacus

In the age of Google it is so important to name your children wisely. I am grateful that my parents christened me as they did. Imagine you are Michael Henson, Professor of Engineering at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, respected for your work on bioreactors. A fellow academic goes looking for you and stumbles […]

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Unique

Omigod. Someone has identified PooterGeek as the target of a Googlewhack: “two words—no quote marks with a single, solitary result”. And the magic combination is “fornicating Strepsil“. Enjoy it now while it lasts. (“Strepsil” is hardly a dictionary word, though, so it's a bit of a fiddle.)

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Bigger Than Charles

I have discovered from the referer logs that PooterGeek is now more famous on the Web than the inspiration for its name. Google for “Pooter” and this page is third; George and Weedon Grossmith's “hero” is fourth. The porn starts at six.

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The Wrong Kind of Sex Icon

Another trawl through my referrer logs reveals that I am sixth highest hit on MSN search for: “gay personal naked webpages pics“ Time to put on my “Why assume I’m homosexual?” badge again. And you lot can just knob off to the “Naked Protesters” ‘Blog. PooterGeek is a chaste and sophisticated journal of culture.

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De-Spammed

You, dear Reader, probably won’t have noticed, but I have been irritated over the past few months by ‘Blog spam. The same people who write to you offering to enlarge your breasts/penis now post fake links to ‘Blogs. They have targeted PooterGeek in the hope of borrowing my legendary Google karma for their own tawdry […]

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Naked Harry Potter

I had a conversation with two unlikely PooterGeek “fans” at lunch today—I mean yesterday: I fell asleep and have just woken up after midnight. (Hello Adam and Martin, by the way.) They were intrigued by the weird success of my Webpages with search engines. This ‘Blog entry is an experiment born of that conversation. I […]

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Huh?

Who reads my Webpages? Disappointed people, mainly… I am responsible for the fourth highest hit if you search UK pages for “anti-capitalist Weblog” at Google UK. What’s more, because I made a flip remark in my old gallery pages about one of my colleagues looking like said film star, it’s also on the first page […]

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Disappointed Customers

Holy Moly. Two amazing searches brought punters to counsell.com yesterday evening. Perverts first. Someone was looking for "pictures of English women shitting" via search.yahoo.com. Fortunately this site is only referenced by the second page of results. Idiots second. Someone was looking for "why Chirac opposes war" via search.msn.com. The number one hit on the entire […]

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01Apr02

Apt that my first official Web log entry should combine April Foolery, geekiness and Google, God's own search engine. Check out their extraordinary pigeonrank technology. Talking of April Fool's day…

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