Hi, I’m on the set of Meet The Underwater Smoking Tanngoliabees with director, Hiram Czeapli. Hiram, there’s already a tremendous buzz about this star-studded, sprawling ensemble piece. Perhaps you could tell us why this of all your works has attracted so much pre-release media attention.
Well, although The Smoking Tanngoliabees has a lot in common with some of my other productions, with this creation I’m hoping to achieve something that, to date, I feel I have only been groping for.
This motion picture will, I believe, be the first to dispense with content entirely. I intend to fill two-and-a-half hours of screen time with A-list cameos, improvised dialogue, and fashionable winks at the worst of 70s fashions—no plausible plotting or character development at all, though several of the leads will change their excruciatingly unflattering hairstyles in the final act. It will also be the first film of this sub-genre not to feature Bill Murray. Bill did stipulate, however, as a condition of his non-appearance, that I cast Harvey Keitel in the role originally intended for him.
So the “No Bill” rumours are true?
Yes, I can confirm that it is possible to produce pretentious free-form noodling within the United States, but without the master of the genre himself in the cast or directing.
Surely the occasional snigger at his endlessly amusing hangdog expression is crucial leavening to the failed, flat irony of a story about a dysfunctional family that happens to consist of the cream of Hollywood’s seven-figure box-office leads looking for cred?
Oh, don’t get me wrong here. We’ll still be showcasing the very worst of US indie rock in the soundtrack, intentionally shooting under bad light, making somebody like Julia Roberts look very silly indeed, and asking a white person to wear an Afro wig; but, yes, we have no Bill Murray.
So what will Bill be doing during filming?
He’ll be working on Ghostbusters III.
Wow, that’ll be quite a contrast with the movie you’re making, then?
Well, it’ll probably be funny. And entertaining. And say something (albeit fairly unimportant) about the human condition.
And Meet The Underwater Smoking Tanngoliabees won’t?
Not if I have my way, no.