Leasey: Hi, Damian. Who are your new friends?
PG: The naked one with the beach ball painted grey and labelled “rock” is Sissy; the one in the cape and eye-mask is Benjy.
Benjy: You LIE. I am ANON, crusader for TRUTH and JUSTICE.
PG: Nice cape, Benjy.
Leasey: Are these weirdos coming to the cinema with us?
Sissy: “Sissy”! “weirdos”! The clear subtext of your reactionary labels is that you are a homophobe who despises those who are emotionally troubled. They are classic slurs from a New Labour apparatchik.
PG: They come everywhere with me these days. All the time.
Leasey: Oh no.
PG: Hey, you don’t have to sleep with them.
Sissy: Miss Leasey, do you know your date mocks the cultures and misfortunes of brown people?
Leasey: He mocks everyone, though mainly himself. And he is a brown person—though he’d be browner if he didn’t spend all his free time indoors writing strange stories for his Internet friends. And he isn’t my date. He’s my gay-friend-who-isn’t. Apart from his trousers, obviously.
Sissy: He is not a real brown person. He is has been turned by Blair, Blunkett, and Bush into a poodle of oppression.
PG: So how do you feel about seeing Team America tonight?…
Benjy: To laugh at the deaths of [in grave unison with Sissy] one hundred thousand Iraqis?!