I am a hypothetical man with an even more hypothetical woman. She doesn’t enjoy having sex with me. Chance that this is because:-

• I never listen to anything she says: 16 percent
• The only thing about me that ever turned her on was my after-tax income: 13 percent
• I am too heavy-handed: 7 percent
• I am too light-fingered: 8 percent
• I am missing the point completely: 9 percent
• I am concentrating on the point to the exclusion of everything else: 5 percent
• I am following the advice of a woman in a magazine who has a) never had sex with a woman and b) thinks all women function sexually exactly like her: 2 percent
• I have let myself go, to the point where I disgust her physically: 8 percent
• She was desperate and drunk one night and now she’s stuck with me: 9 percent
• She only does it with me out of a sense of duty: 6 percent
• I only do it with her out of a sense of duty: 4 percent
• She has mistaken pity for love: 6 percent
• She has mistaken hatred for passion: 6 percent
• She is suffering from some form of sexual dysfunction that can only be treated effectively with a drug: 1 percent

Tomorrow: the chances that a hypothetical man suffers from the emotional dysfunction “commitmentphobia” and the chances that a hypothetical woman can cure him by “accidentally” getting pregnant.