Leasey: Hi, Damian. Who are your new friends?

PG: The naked one with the beach ball painted grey and labelled “rock” is Sissy; the one in the cape and eye-mask is Benjy.

Benjy: You LIE. I am ANON, crusader for TRUTH and JUSTICE.

PG: Nice cape, Benjy.

Leasey: Are these weirdos coming to the cinema with us?

Sissy: “Sissy”! “weirdos”! The clear subtext of your reactionary labels is that you are a homophobe who despises those who are emotionally troubled. They are classic slurs from a New Labour apparatchik.

PG: They come everywhere with me these days. All the time.

Leasey: Oh no.

PG: Hey, you don’t have to sleep with them.

Sissy: Miss Leasey, do you know your date mocks the cultures and misfortunes of brown people?

Leasey: He mocks everyone, though mainly himself. And he is a brown person—though he’d be browner if he didn’t spend all his free time indoors writing strange stories for his Internet friends. And he isn’t my date. He’s my gay-friend-who-isn’t. Apart from his trousers, obviously.

Sissy: He is not a real brown person. He is has been turned by Blair, Blunkett, and Bush into a poodle of oppression.

Leasey: Whatever.

PG: So how do you feel about seeing Team America tonight?…

Benjy: To laugh at the deaths of [in grave unison with Sissy] one hundred thousand Iraqis?!