I am having an excellent Christmas. Thank you to the Counsells and Beardsleys for their kindness and generosity and hospitality. And thanks to everyone everywhere who sent me cards and gifts and good wishes. Thanks especially to Maisie for being such a good girl and such good fun.
It’s a shame that casualsavant didn’t send me The Metrosexual Guide sooner. The chapter on sex in particular has been a revelation. I understand now, for example, where I went wrong with that Canadian girl who told me she was “really into” Ralph Fiennes:
“Uniforms and situations involving authority figures can be fun, though it’s probably not advisable to show up unexpectedly on your lover’s doorstep dressed as a Nazi.”
I also now appreciate with painfully clear hindsight the book’s warnings against crying afterwards and attempting carpentry before getting dressed again. No, I am not making any of this advice up.