If I tell you the real reason why I came upon the following page is that I was surfing Amazon for a birthday gift for my mother, you might think one of two things:

1. “How could he be so rude about his mum?”
2. “Does he really think we’ll believe that story?”

If you’ve ever been hypnotized by a colleague’s nostril ‘tache or experienced the pain that accompanies plucking the little buggers out of your own nasal cavities you must admit some interest in the reasonably priced “Wahl wet and dry nose trimmer”. And you’re not going to join the queue in Boots and buy one in public, are you? Hey, it’s number one in the top one hundred personal care products; you’d have looked, too.

Anyway, the point of this post is to share with you the two user-submitted reviews currently on display:

“4 out of 5 stars Wowzer!, March 18, 2004
Reviewer: gravyboatsailor from Portsmouth, Hants United Kingdom
This is a nose hair trimmer. It trims the hairs in your nose.

“5 out of 5 stars Hedge trimmer, April 23, 2004
Reviewer: harry_stottle from Battle, East Sussex United Kingdom
I concur with the previous review; this is a nose hair trimmer. However it can also trim those hairs that sprout from ones ears. I’m sure one could expand its use to include other orifices, but I wouldn’t recommend it.“

God help anyone who mistakes it for a vibrator.