When Dolly the Sheep was cloned from a single cell of her mother/twin's udders, one of the science-fiction-horror side-effects of the manner of her conception was the premature ageing of Dolly's own cells.
Someone should tell Britney that the terrible downside of being created from a flash-frozen scraping of Madonna's left breast is that she is doomed to live Madge's life at a hugely accelerated pace. At this rate it will be three years before Britney is speaking in a fake London accent and being directed by her nth husband in a terrible desert island movie.
[…] evidence appears supporting the Accelerated Life Theory of Britney Spears, within hours of my first postulating it. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything to write about any of these thing […]