If being successful with women is about getting a lot of them to have sex with you then the secret of success is telling the right lie at the right time. [I would say that, wouldn’t I?] I’ve watched experts in action. Their methods are simple: intoxicate and deceive. They know what a woman wants to believe, and for a moment, the right moment, these operators believe it themselves. Often they believe the con more completely than the mark. Often the mark wants the world to believe she was conned—just as a good girl will act more drunk than she is so that she has permission to be a bad girl.
Sebastian Horsley used to write for the miserably unerotic Erotic Review [—imagine snooty wannabes rejected by The Spectator trying to offend their parents and you’ll get the idea]. He prefers paying to dissembling. I think much of his cyncism about the relations between men and women is a pose, but, sadly, there’s too much truth in what he writes.
UPDATE: I had an email about this post this morning and should clarify: what I find “sad” is that so many men and women still find it necessary to deceive themselves and others in order allow themselves to enjoy sex.