I discovered this week that a man for whom I have immense professional admiration possesses a comb-over of apocalyptic awfulness. It is not so much a hairstyle as a standing test of his subordinates’ loyalty; an oxbow lake of glossy, hypnotising vanity skirting the rear of his polished head as if in mocking apposition to the wisdom stored beneath it. God forbid that I should ever meet him at some point in the future when it has become a still greater monument to his state of denial, and my wilful baldness a mightier affront.
[You can tell that I am only a matter of months from the end of this job of mine—and quite possibly from the end of my sorry excuse for a career.]
An otherwise wonderful documentary on the life and work of the great Scottish-Canadian animation pioneer Norman McLaren called The Creative Process is horribly marred by McLaren’s decision to be interviewed in the most hilariously obvious wig I’ve seen outside the pages of Viz.
It’s particularly illusion-shattering in this case, as McLaren was a visual genius by any standard – but clearly not in the habit of looking in mirrors. Either that or he was literally blinded by vanity. (The director’s commentary on the DVD confirms that it wasn’t an elaborate postmodern joke – McLaren really did think he looked better in it!)
I’ve been asked to provide evidence to back up my outrageous assertion, and am happy to do so.
(McLaren’s long dead, so he’s unlikely to sue)
Upon seeing such a magnificent syrup my first reaction is to shout “wiggler woop woop” whilst pointing to the top of the guy’s bonce.
My second reaction is to go “uh-oh that’s from Police Academy” and then go all quiet so as not to invite derision from Michael Brooke.
I’ll get me coat.
One of film criticism’s best-kept secrets is that the original Police Academy actually opened to a pretty positive reception…