I suspect the age distribution of the visitors here is such that somebody reading this must have some tips on getting parents over sixty with potentially life-threatening conditions to look after themselves properly. All suggestions welcome.
14Mar05 — 3
You may be experiencing something that we call over here the “Baby Butt Syndrome” (aka “Powdered Butt Syndrome”). It goes like this:
Once someone has wiped and powdered your ass, they generally disdain your advice on either sex or money.
I think that BBS can also extend to health matters…..good luck!
Yes, sadly, I’ve experienced this. It’s tricky, first, of course because of the “BBS” described above. And also because health worries associated with aging make people defensive about their status, their strength, their entitlement to respect. Nobody wants his kids to turn him into the “Aged P” and infantilize him.
I’ve learned to express my worries and wishes clearly but not very often. It seems to preserve the concern/respect balance better than nagging. I still get snapped at, though. Good luck, and remember that you’re not the boss.
When my mother was diagnosed with diabetes (not insulin dependent, diet controlled) I wasn’t sure what the diagnosis actually meant…in terms of how dangerous it was, etc. So I googled and usenetted around and found (from memory) alt.diabetes, or alt.livingwithdiabetes or whatever. Passed that on to my father, very much an engineering type (he did his MSc in computer science at age 66 , just to keep his mind in trim..geeky stuff) and the problem seemed to solve itself. Hundreds of people posting about their diets, problems, successes etc and none of the BBS at all (and all on computers which kept Pa happy)….I hadn’t tried to tell either of them anything, only that there was this place where others talked about it.
Not the solution for everyone of course, but worked for me. And yes, she’s fine, 5 years later.