Hart! I want to see you in my office. Now!

Yes, Mr Counsell.

Did you devote even a second’s thought to the construction of this ‘analogy’ of yours?

“Giving more power to those parents who lack responsibility is like putting an alcoholic in charge of a bar.”

No, Mr Counsell. I just thought it would make a good soundbite, sir.

Hart, Do irresponsible parents consume education to excess?

No, Mr Counsell.

Would such a parent placed in charge of a school educate his or her children until they were unconscious?

No, Mr Counsell.

Is there a state-run chain of bars in England and Wales set up so that drinkers can only drink at the bar nearest to their home (unless it’s a good one of course) and have no choice about what drinks they buy and how they are mixed unless they are part of a minority of the population lucky enough to be able to afford a house near a good bar or the membership fees of an extremely expensive private drinking club?

No, Mr Counsell.

Go away and write out a thousand times:

“An ideologically-driven system of state schooling unsupported by rigorous scientific research and sponsored by an educational establishment wilfully indifferent to statistical evidence has deprived generations of learning.

If it continues to be more concerned with political correctness than with the development of intellectual potential—let alone the promotion of literacy, numeracy, and elementary critical thinking—yet more millions of minds will be wasted.

How can we expect parents and children to respect the demands of scholarship when ‘educationalists’ do not?”

Mr Counsell?

Yes, Hart?

Can I have my £90 000 salary now, please?

Get out, Hart!