PooterGeekers of a grammatical disposition—Pashmina, Norm, Judith, my dad—should look away now. I cannot be blamed for any trauma you suffer by reading further.

The Rock is a Cambridge sports pub. Still bolted over the main entrance to the venue is a rigid, commercially produced, full-colour banner. The banner promotes The Rock’s comprehensive Sky Sports coverage and has obviously been distributed nationally to pubs paying Murdoch’s extortionate satellite subscription rates. In capital letters, running along the centre of this banner, is the following slogan:

WERE PAYING—THERE PLAYING—YOUR WATCHING

…and weeping.