“Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, ‘God’ if you will, is pushing them down,” said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

The funny thing about this Onion story, is that the made-up fundamentalist “scientist” quoted is represented by a photograph of Nobel prizewinning genomics star Sir John Sulston. I’ve emailed the press officer at the Wellcome Trust Sanger Institute. I think he (and John) will see the joke.