Well I never. The media have been taken for a ride:

“[The Mirror] says that he has now returned to Germany, where he has two sisters and his father owns a farm.

“And, in a final revelation which will forever shatter the enigma of a man often compared to the pianist David Helfgott whose battles with mental illness were portrayed in the film Shine, the source told the paper that he was in fact ‘rubbish’ at the piano.

“When he was first discovered, the man refused to speak but when presented with a pen and paper, sketched a detailed picture of a grand piano. He was subsequently led to a piano in the hospital’s chapel where his four-hour performance was described by Michael Camp, his social worker, as ‘really amazing’.

“Now it is suggested that he merely tapped at one key repeatedly.”

Next week:

“Oasis revealed to be not very good at pop music. Neanderthal brothers returned to limestone quarry near Düsseldorf where they were discovered writing and performing the same song repeatedly. Entire British music press unavailable for comment.”