Since GrammarPuss has been at it lately, and I have just got off the train after a pleasantly alcoholic dinner and an unpleasant wade through the shoddy prose of Harold Pinter’s Nobel speech* I’d like to share with you my language gripes of the moment.
You should only use “the latter” when you are referring to one of two preceding items. When there are three or more you use “the last”. It’s usually better not to use “the latter” at all, because it’s often ambiguous and it’s often used by people who think it makes them sound clever, rather than people who are clever enough not to have to try to impress anyone.
I realise criticising Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott for abusing English is like criticising Boy George for being camp, but today he referred to the emergency services currently dealing with the consequences of the explosion in Hemel Hempstead as “fully deserving of fulsome praise”. Apart from the parent phrase being a cliché, I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean “fulsome”:
fulsome adj sickeningly obsequious; nauseatingly affectionate
[Chambers Dictionary]
That’s all, people. Goodnight.
*[I’m going to give the old fraud such a fisking soon.]
‘Coruscating’ is my particular bugbear at the moment – the number of people who use it correctly (‘sparkling, scintillating’) being the merest fraction of the people who seem to think it expresses some kind of incandescent fury.
This last group doubtless thinks that Prescott is frequently coruscating, despite the obvious absurdity.
How about ‘careen’? So many people seem to think it means something along the lines of ‘hurtle unpredictably’. I guess they’re thinking of ‘career’. As far as I can tell, ‘careen’ means nothing but to tilt a ship on its side to facilitate scraping off barnacles etc.
Periodic taped announcement at Clapham Junction station: “Due to increased security, please do not leave bags unattended …”.
Surely if there was increased security, there would be less of a problem leaving bags around.
‘Fulsome’ is a pet bugbear, though in fairness to the DPM it is possibly one of the most misused words in the language (as Ian Mayes pointed out recently). Doesn’t mean there’s any excuse for it, mind.
I wish ‘decimate’ still meant to kill off every tenth soldier and that ‘myriad’ meant 10,000.
I get annoyed when people incorrectly use “the majority” instead of that nice, simple, but not-so-sophisticated sounding “most”.
I know I make many mistakes each day in the words I choose, so I am hesitant to join in this one. HOWEVER, I have noticed that everyone around me seems to use the word ‘myself’ as if the words ‘me’ and ‘I’ have become illegal to utter.
“If you have a problem with this software, please have a word with myself.”
“Chris and myself had the bruschetta.”
“I think that Hermoine and myself should be the ones who carry out this experiment.”
It may not be strictly incorrect in every case that I hear it used, but it sure is irritating.
I have almost given up trying to correct the misuse of the word ‘celibate’. It means unmarried folks. Not having sex is being ‘chaste’.
And before anyone talks about Catholic priests taking a vow of celibacy. It’s not a vow not to have sex. They’re not allowed sex outside of marriage.
Sheer weight (of traffic) irritates me, why sheer? I e-mailed the RAC to ask but they ain’t yet answered.
Can’t wait for your Pinter drubbing. Need expert advice on foreign affairs? Why not ask a gloomy playwright…..
All of which, of course, begs the question ….
How about “first of all” followed by “second of all” widely used by Americans. And really annoying but widespread: “As far as the price of fish, that’s much too high.” Then there’s the one that catches even subs out thes days: “On the one hand … on the other hand”. Of course this should be “on one hand …” since if there was only “the one” there wouldn’t be another.
I’m going to stop now. Between this place and GP, I’m going to give myself a coronary over crap English.
Pash, isn’t “pet bugbear” an oxymoron, really? Or are you being clever (I often miss those)?
Brian Hughes: Can’t wait for your Pinter drubbing. Need expert advice on foreign affairs? Why not ask a gloomy playwright…..
Indeed. A gloomy playwright who is a member of THE INTERNATIONAL COMMITTEE TO DEFEND SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC.
Michael: I so agree about ‘coruscating’, which like ‘effete’ is one of those words always used carelessly and wrongly… and therefore pretentiously…
As far as ‘look at me – I can use big words’ newspaper writing, I would also nominate ‘excoriating’ and (in the critical area) ‘lacerating’ and ‘visceral’…
Oh, while you’re at it, drop ‘iconic’ too – and estate agents, please desist from using the word ‘vibrant’.
[…] Eh! Eh! Calm down! Yes, I threatened to kick Harold Pinter’s hospital bed for his drivelling on about the US foreign policy, but I have a lot to do right now. If I do put the boot in it won’t be before the weekend because I need a nice unbroken slot of time to do it. And there’s no need to get like that, Condi. […]
Dave, it was meant to be a “pet… bear” thing. Which not even I would really describe as “clever”..
Regarding Brian Hughes’ traffic news annoyance, I’d like to add ‘shed load’ as in “Just north on Bristol there’s a shed load on the M5.” Yea, what of? Brain idles for a moment before kicking in; oh, they mean as in how a snake sheds its skin and not as in the SI unit for ‘more than a lot’.
Jackie,
I too hate that particular ridiculosity. My response is “Why don’t yourself learn to speak yourself’s own language?” (Muttered under my breath, after they’ve gone away, needless to say.)
Morgan,
How about “a myriad of”? Aaaaaarrrgh!
Anyone interested in this thread should go and discover Language Log, if you haven’t already.
By the way, Pashmina, I hope you don’t mind, but I intend to give you to my wife for Christmas.
Dave F, surely that’s right when comparing two things: one one had this and on the other hand that. What’s wrong with that? Is it the “the” …? Would it be wrong to say “on the left hand this and on the right hand that”? One of each, right?
Shall I just punch myself in the face now and go and get a life?
No, it wouldn’t be wrong to say “on the left hand this.. etc”. But since one has two hands usually, it is wrong to say “on THE one hand”. It’s “on one hand this, on the other hand that”. The misuse has crept in fairly recently (10 years ago?). To clarify a bit further, you would say: “In one hand he held a dagger, in the other a carving knife.” You wouldn’t say: “In the one hand he held a dagger”, would you?
I am going to get a life. Tomorrow.
Pashmina: I love it when you lash me, mistress.
Judging from the comments here, I think GrammarPuss would gain huge numbers of hits by changing her ‘Blog’s name to “Pash’s House Of English Correction”.