As at least one of my Jewish friends will testify, it was during my years living in a North West London flat with a caricature of a Jewish grandmother for a resident landlady (rather than my time in the kosher house on Osney Island) that members of the Global Conspiracy stole my brain and replaced it with a positronic bagel, radio-controlled from their HQ beneath the White House lawn. So you might not find this story of Pashmina’s quite as amusing as I found it. Then again, I laughed like a drain.