Late one evening a burglar breaks into what he thinks is an empty house. As he cracks the safe in the main living room and reaches in to grab the holidaying owners’ jewels, a voice speaks to him from the darkness:

“Jesus is watching you.”

He turns suddenly and shines his torch around, looking for the source of the words. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else in the room so he decides he is just hearing things. Once he has emptied the safe, he walks over to another wall and finds an original Sickert hanging there. As he turns over the frame to remove the canvas he hears the same voice again:

“Jesus is watching you.”

He puts the painting back and scans the room more carefully with his torch at head height. In the opposite corner of the room he sees a cage. He walks over to find two African Grey parrots perched in the middle of it. The one on the left says, “I’m warning you, Jesus is watching you.”

Smiling the burglar asks, “So you‘re the voice of God then?!”

The parrot answers, “No, I’m Moses.”

The burglar points at the bird on the right and asks Moses, “That’ll be Jesus then, will it?”

The other bird says, “No, I’m Mohammed. Jesus is the Rottweiler.”

[adapted from The Motley Fool]