I’m in a Brighton musical instrument shop looking for a couple of brackets for my keyboard stand. There’s a teenager sitting slouched at one of the digital pianos in sweats and a baggy jacket. He’s wearing a mesh baseball cap and through it you can see that his buzz-cut hair is dyed a colour Eminem would probably like.

As I wander over he turns to one of the sales staff and starts yammering at him, “How many piano sonatas do you think Liszt wrote, eh? How many? Go on. Guess! One. Amazing innit?”
Then he starts playing excerpts.
The salesman asks, “And do you want to play pop music on it as well?”
Sonata-boy is now absent-mindedly quoting Chopin.
“Nah. I only do classical. And Elton John.”