Via Normblog I read the Times‘ transcript of an accidentally broadcast conversation between George W. Bush and Tony Blair at the G8 summit. By downloading the original recording and processing it with various digital sound programs I have been able to reconstruct the inaudible parts of the exchange. Here I present the full transcript, with the recovered material in emphasis:
Bush: Yo, Blair. How are you doing?
Blair: I’m just…
Bush: You’re leaving?
Blair: No, no, no not yet. On this trade thingy…can we not get [Indian Trade Minister Kemal] Nath to get his goddam shit together?
Bush: Yeah, I told that to the man.
Blair: Are you planning to say that here or not?
Bush: If you want me to.
Blair: Well, it’s just that if the discussion arises…
Bush: I just want some movement.
Bush: Yesterday we didn’t see much movement.
Blair: No, no, it may be that it’s not, it may be that it’s impossible.
Bush: I am prepared to say it.
Blair: But it’s just I think what we need to be an opposition…
Bush: Who is introducing the trade?
Blair: Angela [Merkel, the German Chancellor].
Bush: Tell her to call ’em.
Bush: Tell her to put him on, them on the spot. Thanks for the pimp-ass fo’ fo’. It’s awfully thoughtful of you.
Blair: It’s a pleasure.
Bush: I know you picked it out yourself.
Blair: Oh, absolutely, in fact it’s the one I used to cap that fake [DJ Tim] Westwood.
Bush: What about Kofi? There’s a brother could do with a righteous injection of lead. His attitude to ceasefire and everything else … happens.
Blair: Yeah, no I think the fucked-up hoodlum is really difficult. We can’t stop this unless you get this international business agreed.
Blair: I don’t know what you guys have talked about, but as I say I am perfectly happy to try and see what the lie of the land is, but you need that done quickly because otherwise it will spiral.
Bush: I think Condi is going to go pretty soon.
Blair: But that’s, that’s, that’s all that matters. But if you… you see it will take some time to get that together.
Bush: Yeah, yeah.
Blair: But at least it gives people…
Bush: It’s a process, I agree. I told her your offer to…
Blair: Well…it’s only if I mean… you know. If she’s got a…, or if she needs the ground prepared as it were… Because obviously if she goes out, she’s got to succeed, if it were, whereas I can go out and just talk.
Bush: You see, the … thing is what they need to do is to get Syria, to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it’s over.
Blair: Stoned killaz and gorillaz, them and the rest of their crew.
Bush: Who you mean?
Blair: Because I think this is all part of the same thing.
Blair: What does he think? He thinks if Lebanon turns out fine, if we get a solution in Israel and Palestine, Iraq goes in the right way…
Bush: Yeah, yeah, he is sweet.
Blair: He is honey. And that’s what the whole thing is about. It’s the same with Iraq.
Bush: I felt like telling Kofi to call, to get on the phone to Assad and make something happen.
Bush: Assad? He a no-chin weak nigga. We can pistol-whip his scrawny optician ass any goddam time.
Blair: Fo’ sho’.
Bush: We are not blaming the Lebanese government.
Blair: Is this…? (at this point Blair taps the microphone in front of him and the sound is cut.)