Golan Cipel, the man at the centre of the sex scandal engulfing former New Jersey Governor James E. McGreevey declared to the press today, “I am a straight Israeli.”

He continued, “Many people in the World today believe that there is something unnatural about my nationality; some even refuse to believe that citizens like me exist. They are disgusted by me and other members of my minority, even to the extent of refusing to compete with us in sporting events. I want to state today that I am proud of my national orientation and have nothing to be ashamed of in my recent actions.”

Having left U.S. public administration, Cipel plans to move to London to start a career in television as part of a team of his fellow countrymen and women on a new BBC show “Israeli Eye For The English Guy“. In it, five Israelis specialising in different lifestyle areas will teach a different repressed, over-polite English person each week how to argue politics with strangers in public without the aid of warm beer, loudly point out relatives’ character flaws at family gatherings, and complain effectively in shops in order to obtain a better standard of service.