I ache to do a Boris Johnson parody, but it is impossible. There is no second-form-at-Greyfriars phrase I could write, no bonkers opinion I could put forward that wouldn’t leave people thinking “that’s probably just a quote from the man himself”. I bet even Craig Brown thumps his head against his writing desk in torment from time to time, frustrated by the man’s sheer, sheer Boris-ness. He is beyond simple party loyalty, beyond the reach of pastiche. Follow the link and ask yourself every couple of paragraphs, “What hope has satire against this?” [Article also available without registration here, but in a really squinty font.]