The British don’t do dating. They get pissed and shag. Americans do do dating. Here are some pages of advice for women, explaining the elaborate formulae men use to help them decide when to call a woman after the first date. I realise this is of purely academic interest to readers, but here’s how I decide when to phone after the first date:

Did I like her?


That was fun. I’ll ring her on Thursday because there are still some corrections to do on this article and I’ve got a guitar lesson tomorrow.


God, she was boring. At least when I finish correcting this article I’ll have more time to practise those barre chords for that guitar lesson tomorrow.