A coloured guy, a lesbian, and a Jew settle down to enjoy a game of cricket…
Before the great battle begins today I must remind you of what is at stake, not merely a century-old sporting trophy, but the pride of the English-speaking ‘Blogging world.
…And the coloured guy says to the lesbian:
This is a fantasy, I know—and will probably remain so—but, so help me, I am going to crow at you and Norm even until the end of time if the Aussies blow this series. They are rare birds, but the sight, in any habitat, of Lesser Spotted Australian Losers is possibly one of the most beautiful in Nature.
Posted by: PooterGeek at May 16, 2005 02:01 AM
Harken to the cry of the Striped West Midlands Warbler. How would you like your crow cooked? And would sir like the chips or the vegetables?
Posted by: hakmao at May 16, 2005 01:48 PM
This exchange was, in turn, linked to by Norm (time-stamp given according the right-side-up standard).
…Then the Jew says:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. Glenn McGrath has some plans. Hak has the link – along with a blustering threat from the Geek. (He’s sweet really, despite the attempt to talk and look tough.)
Posted by Norm at 11:24 AM May 16, 2005
It says a lot about the nature of the second-fiercest(?) rivalry in international cricket that the Geek, the Cat, and the Prof quoted above were born respectively in Nigeria, New Zealand, and Zimbabwe.
I’m off to bag me a brace of Corvus corone. In the meantime, Hak, Normski, and bar staff throughout the southeast of England, you might find this page useful later.
stuffing of your choice
salt and pepper
2 Pie crust mixes
2-3 hard-boiled eggs
Stuff the crow. Loosen joints with a knife but do not cut through.
Simmer the crow in a stew-pan, with enough water to cover, until nearly tender, then season with salt and pepper. Remove meat from bones and set aside.
Prepare pie crusts as directed. (Do not bake)
Make a medium thick gravy with flour, shortening, and juices in which the crow has cooked and let cool.
Line a pie plate with pie crust and line with slices of hard-boiled egg. Place crow meat on top. Layer gravy over the crow. Place second pie dough crust over top.
Bake at 450 degrees for 1/2 hour.
…Watch this space for the punchline.
Damian, which of you or Norm is the lesbian? I ask only for information…
Damian, surely you should insist on humble pie? This once widespread old English dish is made of guts and pastry crust.
To quote “idontcook.com”:
In old England, the intestines of animals were known as “umbles”. After
a hunt, the upper class would keep the meat as their own and give the
entrails to their servants. It was traditional for the lower class folk to
make a pie out of the innards, and the “umble pie” became known as
Â “humble pie” because of their low position in life.
Aren’t Australia winning at the moment?
Surely Norm must be older than 25!!?? So I guess he was born in Rhodesia.
They aren’t now.
Well, I’m glad SOMEONE in the British blogosphere is still at home to notice our victory, even in this astoundingly graceless manner. I hope you really are going to eat that crow – email me some to share if it helps. Bloody good series, though, wasn’t it, win or lose? I can’t remember when I was less delighted by victory than when watching poor Shane Warne and Brett Lee collect completely undeserved losers’ medals, and I felt Warne in particular a dead heat for man of the series with Flintoff. Pity we can’t keep playing them on through the winter, bad light or no bad light.
Hmm, well, I think it would have been a bit more dignified to put Australia in much earlier, let’s say around the time the asking rate reached 8 or 9. Could have been an amazing session or so, as the Aussies would have tried for a frantic win (Gilchrist and Hayden opening?), rather than been ground down for all those pointless overs by the flashing bats of Giles and Hoggard.
Have to say, despite spending most of my adult life hoping that Warne would suffer some kind of agricultural accident, he and some of his team-mates (including Lee) do kinda make you wonder Why We Can’t All Just Get Along…
It would have been much more dignified if England had declared six runs ahead of us – our batsmen still could have managed a collapse.
People were very quiet when I was going to work this morning, but it didn’t feel as bad (to my confused sensibilities) as when the All Blacks lose (like being disembowelled with a spoon).
Poor Warney is a boofhead, but as Norm says ‘greatness brooks no argument’. ‘Bing’[*] Lee is a sweet kid. The selectors really need to take a look at the top order, and the team needs more than two players under the age of thirty.
The Poms played well and deserved to win. There Damian – I have said it twice now, is that enough?
[*] His older brother is known as ‘Fug’
“Lee is a sweet kid”? Try asking anyone who has been hit on the head and worked over with body blows around the wicket about that.
You’ve got to understand that Hak’s greatest loyalty is to the All Blacks. “Sweetness” is relative.
[…] God, I hope England win the World Cup. PooterGeek will be dishing out the humble pie again with serious “passion”. […]