I’ve just seen a disturbing thing over at Norm’s place. Alan Johnson, a prominent figure in Labour Friends of Iraq, has answered some bonkers fundamentalist’s denunciation of the electric guitar with a selection of guitar moments. There are about twenty-five more or less famous guitarists named in his post. Of those, the half-Irish, half-Brazilian Phil Lynott is the only one who might possibly fail the paper bag test (after a long time under a sunbed).

Anyone who knows me will be well aware that I am not the sort of person who celebrates Black History Month or tries to claim that Jesus Christ was “a person of colour”, but this isn’t a list of great moments in golf he’s presented us with here. I mean, a list of great guitarists with [excuse me for the PC] no African-Americans?! Imagine a list of twenty-five great violinists with no Jews. To give you some idea of what a pathetic display of post-punk, white-boy, NME-reader cluelessness I am talking about here, this is a list of guitarists—I say again Foghorn Leghorn style—this is a list of guitarists which starts with Noel fucking Gallagher and does not even mention Jimi Hendrix.

You’re a nice and principled bloke, Alan, but I’m not going to be raiding your CD collection any time soon.