He’s educated, rich, famous, good looking, second in line to the throne of the fourth largest economy on the planet, and a large proportion of the female population under the age of forty would like to sleep with him. So naturally you buy him an Aston Villa season ticket. That’ll teach him the meaning of chronic disappointment. Yes, Wills is a Villan.

(Mind you, he hasn’t got a proper job and he is almost certain to go prematurely bald, but I think those can also be desirable qualities in a man.)