JAMES NAUGHTIE: You’re listening to The Today Programme on BBC Radio 4. In our radio car in Norwich we have the Home Secretary, Charles Clarke. Good morning, Mister Clarke.

CHARLES CLARKE: Good morning, Jim.

JAMES NAUGHTIE: In a minute I’m going to be asking you about today’s news that the UK’s prison population is larger than at any time in this country’s history, about the creation of SOCA, an organisation being described as “the British FBI”, and about the ongoing so-called loans-for-honours scandal, but first I’m going to have to discuss with you this weekend’s most important political question: Is it not true, Home Secretary, that Gordon’s bestest friend said that Tony was, and I quote, “a mardy stinkybum”?