Following Britain’s torrid summer of sporting failure, the organising committee has radically revised the programme for the 2012 Olympics. Here, in alphabetical order, are the new events you’ll be able to enjoy:
- Binge Drinking
- Camp
- Cat Blogging
- Connery Imperschonating
- Crazy Golf
- Croquet
- Doggy Paddle
- Druidism
- English Rules Schadenfreude
- Extreme Ironing
- Extreme Irony
- Fencing (And Decking)
- Freestyle Queuing
- 10K Funny Walk
- Gentle Comedy
- Getting A Mardy On
- Happy Slapping
- Hating The English
- Humanitarian Military Intervention
- Hunt Sabotage
- Knock-And-Run
- Line Dancing
- Ludo
- Modern Pentathol
- Monkey Tennis
- Morris Dancing
- Municipal Gardening
- Nordic Knitting
- Office Politics
- Pluck
- Pocket Billiards
- Pudding
- Registering A Complaint
- Self-Deprecation
- Synchronized Swinging
- Tonsil Hockey
- Txt Msging
“Connery Imperschonating”: hurray, I’m going to be an Olympian. “Merry Chrishmash, Mish Moneypenny”.
You forgot “apologism” and Prescott hunting.
I see that Dogging has been cruelly overlooked yet again…
Wait, wait, wait!!! What about BB watching? And BBLB watching? And BBBB watching? And the one with the wacked-out fairy boy? Are you telling me that you people have any time left for anything other than Big Brother-related prgramming?
It won’t be part of the main programme, no, but the organisers have said that in 2012 it will be included as an exhibition event.
He pullsh a knife, I pull a gun.
Shit, I’m a natural att his Sean Connery impershonating lark. 2012 here I come. When did a ginger man last win an Olympic medal?
Surely that should be: Msgng notMsging. Or are we following alternative spelling?
[…] the summer of 2006, a particular grim one for British sport, this blog made public the list of new events planned for the 2012 London Olympics. Following the nation’s successes in Beijing, that has […]