I was sitting in a waiting room yesterday. As always, I couldn’t resist reading one of the women’s reality rags—almost as appealing as discarded copies of the Daily Mail on a Tube train. Real magazine rewarded me for my defying public mockery with this lovely headline, neatly balancing the ghoulishness, shrill optimism, and bathos that characterise the genre:
MY SISTER’S BRUTAL KILLING INSPIRED MY BUSINESS PLAN
Well, everyone hopes to make a killing.
My wife’s favourite headline:-
York girl fails to reach quarter-finals.
My favourite headline: “That mole has changed, love”.
“Man emerges naked from the bushes” is a recent favourite of mine.
Of course, the converse would have been a great story hook:
“My business plan inspired my sister’s brutal killing”.
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