Apparently there exists an entity known as “Kate Lawler”, who won Big Brother and has since become a club DJ. For an organism in the contemporary UK celebrity ecosystem, the next three stages of development are as follows:
[Big Brother winner → club DJ →]
chick lit writer → Conservative MP → Alien Queen
For the sake of completeness, I should point out that your otherwise excellent analysis omits the “going out with England footballer” phase.
Needless to say, a brief (if soul-destroying) trawl through her Wikipedia entry confirms that Ms Lawler has been there and done that, too.
That would be the England footballer who, in 2001, was convicted of affray after a vicious assault on an Asian student in Leeds city centre in 1999. Ms Lawler is obviously a person of taste.