On Saturday, I was one of two customers in a tiny local deli until Nick Cave walked in, dressed head-to-toe in black and accompanied by his children in white judo outfits. I toyed with the idea of getting His Caveness to sign my olives, but that would have taken the weirdness one step too far.
Today, Des Lynam was following me around PC World. Admittedly, despite standing next to him in the furniture section for a good five minutes, I wasn’t aware of his presence until I registered the fuss going on around him. (If you want to get served in PC World then take a former BBC sports anchor with you.)
As I reached the checkout, two of the thirteen-year-old boy shop assistants upon whom the chain depends discussed Lynam’s walkabout:
FIRST 13-YEAR-OLD BOY: [bagging my purchases] Have I just missed a celebrity?
POOTERGEEK: Yeah: Des Lynam.
SECOND 13-YEAR-OLD: [handing me my Maestro card] We don’t get many celebrities here. The last one was Jordan. She wears enough make-up. Des Lynam just looks like an ordinary bloke.
FIRST 13-YEAR-OLD BOY: [nudge-nudge voice] I didn’t notice him ’cause I was too busy looking at his wife.
POOTERGEEK: [silently to himself] I didn’t notice him ’cause I was too busy looking at digital photo frames.
I used to be stalked by Steve Staunton in the food section of Marks and Spencers on an occasional basis, which I have to admit does not reach the heights of Nick Cave – although you may think differently being a Villa supporter.
When I used to work at a well known supermarket I suppose you could say I was stalked on my till (i.e. she was a regular on my checkout) by the woman who used to play Angie in Coronation Street in the 90s. Remember her?
Digital photo frames are dead cool!
Are they cooler than Des Lynam though?
Lynam deserves to be eaten by a werewolf. I’ll explain later.
The most surprising thing in all this is that you shop at PC World. Don’t they have some sort of organic, hand-weaved computer specialists in Hove?
Foolishly followed the link to ‘a very public sociologist’ where one of the contributors describes Henry Fielding as “…author of the famous costume romp Tom Jones..” Words fail me.
I was once at a swish London party which was also attended by Chloe Sevigny – I did my best “I’m ignoring her because she’s famous and I don’t want her to think I care” face for the whole of the night. So did most of the people there because it is London, and we never want anyone to know we care.
The next day I was walking through Soho when I heard a voice say ” there’s that guy from the party last night – the one with the strange ears” ( i have stretched ear piercings) I glanced round in time to catch Chloe Sevigny and her mate pointing at me and giggling. I was a little confused by the whole thing.
heyy, something similar happens to me every week , i work in a fashion store, which i cannot name , sorry!, which is very welll known in london which a lot of celebs come in, including howard from take that buying a suit for the brits.
i managed to get his autographs acroos my back 🙂
Nick Cave!!! Oh My God !!! Which deli????
There’s a media blackout in effect. You’ll have to wait for his location to be revealed on Drudge.