On Saturday, I was one of two customers in a tiny local deli until Nick Cave walked in, dressed head-to-toe in black and accompanied by his children in white judo outfits. I toyed with the idea of getting His Caveness to sign my olives, but that would have taken the weirdness one step too far.

Today, Des Lynam was following me around PC World. Admittedly, despite standing next to him in the furniture section for a good five minutes, I wasn’t aware of his presence until I registered the fuss going on around him. (If you want to get served in PC World then take a former BBC sports anchor with you.)

As I reached the checkout, two of the thirteen-year-old boy shop assistants upon whom the chain depends discussed Lynam’s walkabout:

FIRST 13-YEAR-OLD BOY: [bagging my purchases] Have I just missed a celebrity?

POOTERGEEK: Yeah: Des Lynam.

SECOND 13-YEAR-OLD: [handing me my Maestro card] We don’t get many celebrities here. The last one was Jordan. She wears enough make-up. Des Lynam just looks like an ordinary bloke.

FIRST 13-YEAR-OLD BOY: [nudge-nudge voice] I didn’t notice him ’cause I was too busy looking at his wife.

POOTERGEEK: [silently to himself] I didn’t notice him ’cause I was too busy looking at digital photo frames.