Here are two I enjoyed: Hopi Sen’s “What would Bertie Wooster do?” and The Daily Mash’s “Government takes 60% stake in Al-Qaeda”: The prime minister said : “We must ensure that, as an institution, it continues to provide a useful, ongoing threat without actually blowing things up.” The Daily Mash is a free online site. […]
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25Sep08 — 2
Palin Derangement Syndrome—PalinDrome?
You could argue that Mick Hartley won this game when he collected Reports confirmed my suspicions: Palin, not McCain, is the FrankenBarbie of the Rove-Cheney cabal. from The Huffington Post, but I think quoting Naomi Wolf is cheating. Here’s a good one from yesterday’s International Herald Tribune. Roger Cohen writes: From an inspirational notion, however […]
Read More05Sep08 — 2
Temper Temper / Pro Tempore
I keep meaning to write something about the response of the liberal Left media to the selection of Sarah Palin as the Republican candidate for Vice President of the United States—there are parallels with the way parts of the Right responded to Bill Clinton’s sexual incontinence—but, as I bring my fingers to the keys, I […]
Read More03Sep08 — 10
Question Time
I’ve just had an email from Yvette Cooper. My first thought was: “Bloody hell, after all these years!” Then I remembered that, since leaving college, I have become a washed-up nobody and she has become a member of the Cabinet with two houses—both of which I am paying for. Not that I’m bitter. Coincidentally, property […]
Read More26Aug08 — 6
Bruce W. Wayne
[WARNING 1: The Dark Knight has been out for long enough now that most of you interested in seeing it should have seen it. To those of you who haven’t, know now: spoilery follows.] [WARNING 2: As usual, I was late to this particular party, so I just wanted to publish this blasted blog post […]
Read More11Aug08 — 6
Say What You Like About Joseph Stalin, At Least He Made The Underground Trains Run On Time
It was quiet here last week because I had a lot of things on—to the extent that I had to stop off at the 24-hour Tesco superstore in the small hours of Saturday on the way back from singing at a gig to do my week’s shopping. I’ve read some extreme tales about the goings […]
Read More31Jul08 — 7
Hardcore
British luvvies are a rich source of entertainment to me—as long as I am careful to keep my theatre-going to a minimum; it’s the stuff they say in interviews that puts a smile on my face. So many of them talk cobblers. Fortunately, it doesn’t matter because (apart perhaps from the likes of Mackintosh and […]
Read More30Jul08 — 3
Cliquey Back-Slapping
One of the nicest things about blogging is being able to congratulate other bloggers on (what you believe to be) good blogging, so it’s unfortunate in a way when you are seen as part of a gang because, if you congratulate another supposed gang member, then doing so looks like cliquey back-slapping. Worse, if the […]
Read More22Jul08 — 0
Master Of Science
A campaigner against Heathrow Airport’s third runway has attempted to glue himself to Gordon Brown at a Downing Street reception. Dan Glass, a member of Plane Stupid, was about to receive an award from the prime minister when he stuck out his superglued hand and touched his sleeve. Plane Stupid says Mr Glass, from north […]
Read More15Jul08 — 3
Job Creation Scheme
Surely Margaret Thatcher doesn’t want a state funeral? I mean, that would require the government to pay people to dig a hole and fill it up again.
Read More04Jul08 — 1
Lewis Cannoned
From The Daily Telegraph: Less than 24 hours after both men responded to sleaze allegations against Mr Lewis by insisting he had done nothing to compromise his role as a magistrate, it emerged that there was no record of the deputy mayor ever serving as a justice of the peace. A spokesman for the Ministry […]
Read More03Jul08 — 23
“Let Them Eat Smoke!”
Norm asks two questions: People on the wrong end of social and economic inequalities don’t just experience health disadvantages from smoking, but disadvantages across the board – in every area of health, in life expectancy, in the pattern of life chances in general. Shall we impose compulsory legal norms about diet, about exercise, about whatever […]
Read More26Jun08 — 4
Racism And Sexism To Be Protected By Law
This is simply wrong: Harriet Harman has defended plans to make it legal for firms to discriminate in favour of female and ethnic minorities job candidates. The equalities minister said firms should be able to choose a woman over a man of equal ability if they want to.
Read More25Jun08 — 1
Satire Again Trumped By Reality
I had drafted a PooterGeek post of semi-exaggerated biographies of the actual candidates for the upcoming Haltemprice and Magnercarter by-election, but it all seems so feeble now that David Icke is in the running. Yes, Britain’s leading conspiracy theorist and retired messiah says he’s going to join the circus. By the way, I think it […]
Read More19Jun08 — 2
Where I’m At
Everyone else did this ages ago. I have a long and boring chore to finish right now, so naturally I am procrastinating with things like the Political Compass test. I didn’t like a lot of the site’s questions and its idea of where the Centre is, but its assessment of my politics relative to those […]
Read More12Jun08 — 1
The Truth About 42 Days
42 days is 42 times 24 = 1008 hours. That is, it’s just enough days to exceed the three digit maximum that can be shown in the hour segment of the giant red LED displays that all timer-controlled terrorist bombs use to count down to detonation.
Read More11Jun08 — 2
The Book ‘Em Prize
In an effort to push through an extension to the number of days the police can detain you without charge (if you are suspected of being a terrorist), the government—sorry: “Gordon Brown”, because all current and future legislation is the work of a single overbusy Scotsman—is suggesting that it will compensate innocent suspects held under […]
Read More03Jun08 — 0
Another One Of Google’s Smirks
If you type “Gaullism” into Google correctly then this what you see: If you omit an ‘L’, you get this:
Read More21May08 — 0
Hasta la vista, Aunty
OPRAH: I’d just like to say what a great privilege it is to have you with us on the show today, Barry. BARRY: Thank you, Oprah. I’m so grateful to God for my good fortune just to be here, but my good fortune is all the greater for my both being here and being here […]
Read More20May08 — 5
Growing Up
[UPDATE: Edited to use the version of the body text that actually makes some sense with the originally posted title.] I’m not that old, so I’m often puzzled by people who make historical pronouncements in ignorance of recent, relevant history, sometimes history that happened within their lifetimes but not mine. Of course, as Catholic dogma […]
Read More09May08 — 3
Busted By Aunty Beeb’s Licence Nazis
Stephen Pollard (under the title “Is the BBC out of control?”) and the Centre Right Blog at Conservative Home (under the title “Big Brother Corporation“) embed video of the recent, and undoubtedly threatening, ad warning unlicensed TV viewers of the completeness of the TV licensing authority’s database of UK addresses. In SP’s comments, Nicholas writes: […]
Read More02May08 — 2
Late Local Election Result
Boris Johnson‘s Hair: still No Overall Control.
Read More24Mar08 — 7
NUTters
Every year the National Union of Teachers conference can be counted on for some beyond-parody educationalist nonsense. I enjoyed this one today from the BBC News site. As part of the perennial moan that children are being tested too much an NUT delegate worried that: Even nursery-age children were being taught to spell and write […]
Read More11Mar08 — 30
British Tin Foil Hats For British Tin Foil Hat Wearers
The best way to reveal the true political colours of a bloggertarian is to call his bluff: there’s usually a good old-fashioned red-faced colonel underneath the shiny modern exterior. Right Next Time nails the UK Libertarian Party: all liberty, all the time, for all of the people—except for Johnny Foreigner.
Read More08Mar08 — 6
Clarification
Given the trouble a certain blogger found himself in for announcing Margaret Thatcher’s death prematurely, I should point out that I wrote my previous post about her before the ex-PM’s hospitalization hit the headlines. Regulars know I’m not a fan of hers, but I don’t wish her dead and I’m not going to take any […]
Read More06Mar08 — 2
Maggie Out
While I’m on the subject of Tories, this evening, I finally got round to watching the second part of the very good Michael Portillo documentary about Thatcher and the Conservative Party (The Lady’s Not For Spurning) that I downloaded from the BBC’s excellent iPlayer site. I put it off for so long because I was […]
Read More03Mar08 — 3
Parallel Lives
It’s all over for the ‘Head On the front page of The Spectator online, Fraser Nelson suggests that David Cameron could be “the British [Barack] Obama“, which struck me as a coincidence, because I am the British Gore Vidal.
Read More22Feb08 — 1
Apartheid For Nice Middle-Class People
I spoiled my ballot papers—one for men on one colour of paper, one for women on another colour—for Labour MEP nominations today. I scrawled through the voting boxes and wrote “THIS BALLOT IS SEXIST” (as if it needed explaining), then I put them both into the prepaid envelope. If Harriet Harman has her way and […]
Read More03Feb08 — 6
British Corruption
The latest political scandal uncovered on BBC Radio 2 news this morning was a Conservative MP being “late to declare hospitality from McDonald’s”. Imagine an Italian person hearing that report and trying to make any kind of sense of it at all.
Read More09Jan08 — 12
The Last Single Man On Earth
One of the things that came up over Christmas was, as usual, my continuing unmarried status as the big four-oh looms. Three different members of the family interrogated me about my non-existent love life. Yesterday, I was offered an opportunity to do something about this as I was invited to a singles event: a Website […]
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