[Thanks to Leasey]
My street is full of Guardian-readers. I have leafletted it many times for the Labour Party and rolled my eyes at the windows full of anti-war posters and photocopied invitations to “subversive” gatherings of poets and “thinkers”. I've tried hard not to get into arguments about pre-emptive military action and top-up fees, but I just want to scream at them: “You aren't progressives; you're political prudes! Really doing the right thing makes you feel dirty.” Middle-class people don't like getting their hands dirty. (That is why, for example, I pay my taxes. Dedicated professionals can then continue to kill or imprison crazed murderers and rebuild remote village schools on my behalf.)
There's a token working-class bloke living near the main road. He had a “Support Our Troops” Sun centre-spread up during the Iraq war and a cross of St. George hanging out of his upstairs window during Euro 2004. I think he's currently telling east Cambridge to reject the EU constitution. He probably votes Tory. I wonder if he would have put up the pro-war poster if he knew then what we know now.
I overheard the following through an open, gentrified front door while walking home yesterday. An early-middle-aged drabbie was calling up to her husband, “There's a spider down here that I wouldn't mind if you killed!”
When they dug That Man out of his spider hole I “didn't mind” so much that I put up my first non-Labour window decoration. It was a picture of Saddam with his face crossed out in red ink, taken from the front page of Time magazine.
There might have been some naked dancing as well.
I’m confused. Why was that thanks to me? The only bit I understood was the spider bit. I always get Jonathan to get them for me, or if they’re small enough I squish them with my flip-flop. This makes my bedroom walls interesting to look at….
When I told you the spider story your reaction was: “That’s ‘Blogworthy”, hence my thanks.