Sometimes your first instinct is to sympathise with a particular cause until you meet the people who believe in it—and find them in your local park dressed in black polythene bags and engaged in a one-sided debate with a squirrel.

Like Eurosceptics [Euroskeptics?], anti-ID card campaigners have a whole array of sound, rational arguments at their disposal. So, when they have the money to make their case, they point out that if you stick a barcode on Tony Blair’s top lip he looks like Adolf Hitler.

“Yes, Mr Smith, we have to remove the cyst to relieve the pressure on your brain.”

[Patient nods gravely.]

“If we don’t then the Lizard People will be able to send their messages directly to your conscious mind.”

[Patient runs out of surgery screaming.]