The Five Stages of Athlete’s Foot: Day One: “Ooh dear, that’s a bit itchy.” Day Two: [takes off sock] “Ewww! It looks like some alien life form is gnawing its way through the flesh between my phalanges. Must pop along to the chemist tomorrow and get something for that.” Day Three: “Hello, NHSDirect? Yes, unfortunately […]
Read MoreKelly Brook is extraordinarily beautiful, but, as anyone who has seen her on TV knows, she’s not going to dazzle you with an informed précis of neo-Kantianism or a layperson’s account of the interesting physical properties of the fullerenes. Because of this you can admire her in the abstract, like the Taj Mahal, say, knowing […]
Read MoreAs a fellow member of the middle-class unemployed I can also testify to the horrors radio agony aunt Anna Raeburn described so “movingly” yesterday in the Guardian. Very recently she found herself jobless, without even so much as a rich husband and a poorly-paid but glamorous career in the media to rub together, and thrown […]
Read MoreOn the front page of educationguardian the headline is “Segregation, 2006 style” as “Figures on the ethnicity of students in higher education show a disturbing racial divide amongst universities” Inside the cover, Trevor Philips, Chair of the Commission for Racial Equality, complains about the “institutional racism” that keeps blacks “students of African-Caribbean heritage” out of […]
Read MoreI found out just before Christmas that I’ve been turned down for that SciArt grant I was applying for. This is not exactly a surprise, but I’m still not happy about it. Thankfully, my family took my hint when I told them and I didn’t have to endure a Christmas of them looking at me […]
Read MoreRock chick? Heavily pregnant? At last an answer to your fashion needs, including something to raise eyebrows down at those pre-natal classes. [via Frank Cheshire]
Read MoreIt passed me by because I was busy participating in a traditional British lemming trundle along a motorway*, but, now I have had a chance to catch up with it, I think I have just read John Simpson’s final serious news report. It is in many ways a frightening document; I am afraid on his […]
Read MoreAnd thank you to the members of SIAW and everyone else for reading and commenting in 2005. Have a wonderful 2006. Cheers! I’m still suffering the last of my cold and I’ve just spent New Year’s Eve trying to work out how to use FL Studio 6’s new mixer. I didn’t even notice that midnight had passed […]
Read MoreClean-cut “youf” operatic quartet G4‘s cover of Radiohead’s Creep is either a crime against music or a post-modern deflation of passive-aggressive indie rock whining. I’m not sure which, but either way I am worried that my sister likes it and that I can’t think of a good reason why she shouldn’t. “Is It Just Me […]
Read MoreAs a Labour Party member I received my New Year’s email from comrade Tone this morning. Its title is “Britain in strong position for 2006”.
Read MoreBack in September I picked up on Alex Tew’s milliondollarhomepage idea of selling advertising space by the pixel. Just as he planned, he’s approaching dollar millionairehood.
Read MoreLast year or the year before, following a request on PooterGeek for you lot to suggest somewhere I might buy a bridge computer for my dad for Christmas, I ordered one for him from DreamDirect. DreamDirect is an evil chimera of The Gadget Shop and SAGA magazine: apart from selling fine handheld bridge computers, their […]
Read MoreHave a look at a slightly creepy photograph.
Read MoreI will post some new stuff here soon. Until then you might want to read a couple of my Jewish friends. Gloria Salt writes about freedom. Judy Adloyada describes a widespread media pathology.
Read MoreFurther to Tim and Eric’s comments, some boring personal information. My mum is from Freetown, Sierra Leone; my dad is from Preston, Lancs. I was born in Nigeria. I left Africa when I was two and have never returned as an adult—even to visit. Since my cousins have all left, and my grandmother there is […]
Read MoreI was asked at a recent party of ‘Bloggers why I don’t write more about Africa and in an email this week by a South African correspondent if I would write something about apartheid. In both cases I pleaded the deadly combination of ignorance and emotion. I just couldn’t write well about a continent I […]
Read MoreTraditionally when posting gets thin around here I steal a joke from The Motley Fool, edit it a bit, and slap it up on PooterGeek so that everyone can complain about how unfunny it is in the comments until things get back to normal. I bet you can guess what’s coming next. An old lady […]
Read MoreTruckers Pluck A Sculpture as Self Preservation Society executes audacious robbery. Two vehicles gained access to the courtyard of the Henry Moore Foundation in Perry Green, Much Hadham in Hertfordshire, on Thursday evening. Three men then loaded the huge statue of “a reclining figure” onto the back of a Mercedes lorry using a crane. Officers […]
Read MoreBusy busy busy. Go read Google News, peeps.
Read MoreNever mind Google ninjas. Watch Monkey Ninjas. They’re funny.
Read MoreDespite my best efforts, one of the regulars here stumbled upon the celebrity name of the child I wasn’t allowed to ‘Blog about in my anonymized post of this morning, so I’ve removed the story in question. Gah! Sometimes—just sometimes—I wish you lot were stupid. Apologies to the authors of the interesting comments that I […]
Read MoreYesterday evening PooterGeek was down for several hours while my hosts did some maintenance. Sorry about that. It will probably also be quiet around here today while I back various files up in a locking-the-stable-door kind of way.
Read MoreGirls, please don’t all throw your virtual knickers at me at once, but I once reviewed a book on how to use Google for the UK UNIX Users’ Group magazine, subsequently republished in the official magazine of the American Accounting Association—or something like that. After reading the book, I became a Google ninja. By way […]
Read MoreEh! Eh! Calm down! Yes, I parenthetically threatened to kick Harold Pinter’s hospital bed for his drivelling on about the US foreign policy, but I have a lot to do right now. If I do put the boot in it won’t be before the weekend because I need a nice unbroken slot of time to […]
Read MoreIf you’re going to con a small child you’ve got to make some kind of effort. According to my mum, my sister has been phoning up my dad and telling her daughter (my niece) that she has Santa Claus on the line. Maisie picks up the phone and tells Santa (my dad) that she has […]
Read MoreI forgot to mention that my Thursday last week started with my being trapped in my car when its cheap-and-nasty central locking system went bonkers and shut me in (I had to pass the keys out through the window to a mechanic at local garage who got a passenger-side door open) and ended with my […]
Read MoreHi! Welcome to the CIA Airlines check-in desk. Could I ask you to itemize your hand luggage as you place it on the belt, sir? Er, one holdall of shoes, running gear, and toiletries; one suitcase of casual clothes; one suit carrier containing three identical black suits and ties with matching Ray-Bans; one attaché case […]
Read MoreVia Slashdot comes news of a striking new development in digital camera technology. Even more people will be coming up to me after they have heard the electro-mechanical winding of my 35mm film camera and asking, “Ooh, can I have a look at the preview?”
Read MoreThe prominent mayor Was quick to declare That Jews were amongst his best friends And he only hated them at weekends.
Read MoreSince GrammarPuss has been at it lately, and I have just got off the train after a pleasantly alcoholic dinner and an unpleasant wade through the shoddy prose of Harold Pinter’s Nobel speech* I’d like to share with you my language gripes of the moment. You should only use “the latter” when you are referring […]
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