Dating

Dopey

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post in which I pointed out that statistics disprove the media myth of an excess of unmarried thirtysomething females, complained about the parallel emotional indoctrination of women by commercial interests, warned of the uselessness of online dating services, and described a good evening out I’d had instead […]

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The Last Single Man On Earth

One of the things that came up over Christmas was, as usual, my continuing unmarried status as the big four-oh looms. Three different members of the family interrogated me about my non-existent love life. Yesterday, I was offered an opportunity to do something about this as I was invited to a singles event: a Website […]

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Kissin’ in The Back Row

[Black screen. The members of a US “indie” band attempt vainly to hide their highly practised musicianship as they perform a song about balloons called “A Song About Balloons“.] MOVIE TRAILER VOICEOVER: You’ve had a hard week at work. All you want is to do is slump in front of a DVD in which Bruce […]

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How To Seduce A Geek

Ten non-sexual things a woman (that is: various individual women) has done in the past that have reduced me to Pepe Le Pew: laughed at my hair, dressed like a librarian, correctly fisked my inept critique of a famous theologian, told her pupils about me, pretended not to know how to use chopsticks so that […]

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Substitute

This morning, as I checked my GoogleMail, the all-seeing GoogleBrain read my correspondence and decided that I needed to be directed to the portal for recently divorced or bereaved men: “Wife’sGone.Com“, whose general message seems to be: “Okay, so you don’t have a missus any more, but at least you can afford to buy some […]

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My Old Job Wasn’t Like This

I’m booked to shoot a Sunday wedding on an island in the Thames. Unsurprisingly this address confuses my sat nav. When I met the couple there in advance to case the joint, I travelled on public transport with just one camera. Driving is a different matter. I get within a few miles and then do […]

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No Joke

After a hard day’s coding [yeah, you thought I’d put that crap behind me too], there’s nothing like settling down in front of your monitor to watch the latest movie trailers online. The one(s) for Basic Instinct in particular is/are gloriously bad. I was going to write a few paragraphs marvelling at David Morrissey’s ability […]

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In The Dating Arena

I’m at that singles event I’m supposed to be photographing. I’m holding my new camera. It’s not discreet like my old one. The vertical grip is attached and I have a wireless flash with me. I don’t have one of those penis-extension telephoto lenses, but I still look like a paparazzo. MAN IN SUIT: Are […]

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A (James) Blunt Message To A Subset Of Womankind: You Might Be Beautiful, But She Isn’t, I’m Not, And Your Manners Certainly Aren’t

Earlier on PooterGeek, Linda passed on a nice thing someone had said about me. Since I was invited a few days back to take my camera along and shoot a singles night, this seems a good time to respond at excessive length. [Sorry, Linda, this isn’t that long post about how wonderful you are.] Despite […]

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Kink Of The Month

I can only imagine that a sexually frustrated militant Deaf separatist would go searching the Web for pictures of “naked deaf girls”, but you lot might know better. UPDATE: For anyone brought here by such a search in the future, Deafs.com might get you closer to your goal.

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Laughter Lines

“Women chose funny men as relationship partners despite often rating them as less honest and intelligent,” the researchers said in the study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour. In other news: Actor Tom Cruise has branded a story suggesting he is to split from pregnant fiancee Katie Holmes “100% false”. The denial came […]

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Manufacturing Consent

At least two of the broadsheets have had agony columns that invite readers to respond with answers to other readers’ problems. A few years back one (I think it was the Guardian) printed a letter from a woman despairing of her live-in boyfriend ever “growing up” and marrying her. The majority of the female contributors […]

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Tandem For Sale

As announced prematurely back here by Jackie, here’s news of this month’s celebrity break-up. (But, according to the cover of one of the sleb mags in the newsagent’s George Clooney and Teri Hatcher may be involved in merger talks—denial here.)

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Cross Over The Road, My Friend

You Don’t Want To Do That, a new BBC reality radio show, will follow a group of potential recruits to the Samaritans as they attempt to become full-time counsellors to the suicidal, the depressed, and the lonely. In this preview recording of the first episode, the hopefuls are thrown right into the deep end. They […]

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Is This The Best They Have To Offer?

When I’m browsing the Web, I usually do so with an alternative browser, boasting pop-up blockers, referer spoofers, and ad filters. (I also wear an all-body condom and a bullet-proof vest.) This is faster, but looks—to other, less obsessive, people—strange. There’s no visual spam. Where most people see animated games inviting them to “SQUISH THE […]

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GSOH

[Before you read the article I link to below, those of you not up with geeky three letter acronyms need to know that “IRC” stands for “Internet Relay Chat”, which is like Microsoft Messenger for the sort of people who build their own PCs.] Related to the “people you wish you didn’t fancy” thread (which […]

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