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Sex

Another Urban Myth Busted

Regular drivers of cars live in terror of flying on commercial airlines. People deadlock their front doors at night to keep out violent burglars and then die of smoke inhalation trying to open them in a house fire. Pensioners stay indoors for fear of assault by teenagers, keep their cash in boxes for fear of […]

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Sadly Straight

Thursday evening, last week: I’m standing at the bar buying my round in a not-gay pub in Brighton when a man I’ve never met before starts talking to me in a way I am reluctant to categorise as “forward” until he moves in close, starts rubbing his hand up and down my chest, and tells […]

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Revealing

Today, unique visits to PooterGeek have been cruising at the elevated level of 50-plus an hour. Why? Because this site has just entered the top ten on Arabic Google for the search term “boobs“.

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Penis Size: A Scientific Study

Further to this, this. METHOD: To study the effect of penis width vs. length on female sexual satisfaction, 50 sexually active female undergraduate students were asked which felt better, i. e., was penis width or length more important for their sexual satisfaction. RESULTS: None reported they did not know, or that width and length were […]

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The Beige Shall Inherit The Earth

I was going to dismiss this article as cobblers until I read this bit: Within a thousand years, humans will evolve into coffee-coloured giants between six and seven feet tall, [Oliver Curry] predicts. Improved nutrition and medical science will see people growing taller and fitter, while life-spans are extended to 120 years. Women … will […]

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Puerile, I Know

All the women reading this must now punish me in the comments here for giggling like a schoolboy at Jo Salmon’s Star Wars blog post yesterday, in which she actually resorted to the “lesbian-interrupted-by-the-plumber” plotline beloved of another cinematic sub-genre. Spank me, girls.

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Honestly, I’m Completely Straight

If you are a middle-aged man then two things are going to happen to your hair soon: it’s going to fall out and it’s going to turn grey. My dad managed to escape both of these until he reached 60 years of age, but everyone accused him (unfairly) of using Grecian 2000, so he didn’t […]

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Ad-vice For Entrepreneurs

From The Daily Telegraph: A solicitor who enjoyed a flamboyant lifestyle by living off the earnings of prostitution has been jailed for 12 months. Davy Tang, 42, a father of two, was able to buy a large country house, a Porsche, a Mercedes and a BMW, as well as jewellery worth £9,000 with his cut […]

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Sex And Sensitivity

The Wedding Photography Blog was picked up, via Design | asides, to feature in Designers Who Blog, but I didn’t mention it here when it happened because my friend Fudge said the photo of me they used makes me look as if I’m just about to sneeze. Now I’ve got over this, you can see it too. […]

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Feckless Breeders

The Anonymous Economist sends me this fascinating article from the New York Times: LAST week, New York’s highest court voted 4-to-2 that a legislative ban on same-sex marriage did not violate the state Constitution. In doing so, it added to the patchwork of state rulings on the issue, including those of Indiana and Arizona (which […]

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Reading Frenzy

The PooterGeek site is being spanked like a cabinet minister at an upmarket brothel these days. Since about a month ago the number of hits it’s been taking each hour has jumped sharply. I honestly don’t have an explanation for it, especially as my work these days inevitably comes in bursts and requires me to […]

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Fat Isn’t A Feminist Issue

Two special Ks from the Beeb’s Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 première gallery: Kelly—a figure lusted after by many men Keira—a figure aspired to by many women I used to work with a bright, attractive, independent woman. She even maintained her own classic car. (She’s the only female I’ve ever met who owned her own […]

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When Humourless Lefties Attack

After you’ve read this blog’s harmless and amusing comparison of real college life with co-ed porn movies, check out the comments, where, for no immediately obvious reason, a visitor launches an irrelevant tirade about, well, you can probably fill in the rest if I reproduce the last couple of sentences: “I hope those Iraqis kick […]

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Because It’s There

At medical school, I shared a corpse (whom we christened “Fatima”) with someone who is now a successful cardiologist. Like many of my other peers there, he is the offspring of a doctor. As you’d expect, he was pretty unsqueamish and unflappable, but dissecting hands freaked him out. The rest of a body might puff […]

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The Last Stand?

A blasted heath on the edge of a backlit forest. Low clouds of mist lap around a natural arena. A figure strides over a hillock into view. It is IAN MCKELLEN. He is wearing a very silly helmet and matching cape. He is in possession of a KNIGHTHOOD and an enormous cheque. IAN MCKELLEN: Patrick! […]

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Live-In Doll

The growing demand for shock-horror “true-life” stories has, apparently, now raised the going rate for a non-celebrity, sub-tabloid confessional to £10K. [Sorry I’ve lost the link for this factoid, but it’s more plausible than most of the headlines I’ve circled in the photograph above.] I suspect that the following from Marie Claire is about as […]

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A Lazy Blog Post

Before I set about some other duties, I pause to browse the blogs and bitch about them (affectionately of course). On the subject of lazy blogging, if Guido is going to complain about substandard satire on the TV, he needs to get some of his own material or at the very least put me on […]

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Dear BBC…

Excuse me for not noticing this before as I don’t have a TV, but I have to say that this is exactly the kind of perversion of the natural order you can expect when you employ one of those Godless homosexuals to write Dr Who: a Doctor who’s prettier than his assistant. UPDATE: And butch […]

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No Joke

After a hard day’s coding [yeah, you thought I’d put that crap behind me too], there’s nothing like settling down in front of your monitor to watch the latest movie trailers online. The one(s) for Basic Instinct in particular is/are gloriously bad. I was going to write a few paragraphs marvelling at David Morrissey’s ability […]

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A (James) Blunt Message To A Subset Of Womankind: You Might Be Beautiful, But She Isn’t, I’m Not, And Your Manners Certainly Aren’t

Earlier on PooterGeek, Linda passed on a nice thing someone had said about me. Since I was invited a few days back to take my camera along and shoot a singles night, this seems a good time to respond at excessive length. [Sorry, Linda, this isn’t that long post about how wonderful you are.] Despite […]

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The Shorter Boris Johnson

Displaying his usual deftness, cuddly old Boris takes on the question of religious dress in schools in today’s Telegraph. You could summarise the first part of his contribution thusly: “That Shabina Begum: even dressed like a pillar box you’d do her, wouldn’t you?” And, as usual, he has a point.

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Kink Of The Month

I can only imagine that a sexually frustrated militant Deaf separatist would go searching the Web for pictures of “naked deaf girls”, but you lot might know better. UPDATE: For anyone brought here by such a search in the future, Deafs.com might get you closer to your goal.

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Thank Heaven For Little Boys

From 70s pop stars to Lib Dem MPs to celebrity feminists, the modern public figure seems to be vulnerable to private temptation by the figure of the young man. Everyone knew Germaine Greer’s battiness had set in properly when she wrote that book about beautiful boys, though the female circumcision thing had already given the […]

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Manufacturing Consent

At least two of the broadsheets have had agony columns that invite readers to respond with answers to other readers’ problems. A few years back one (I think it was the Guardian) printed a letter from a woman despairing of her live-in boyfriend ever “growing up” and marrying her. The majority of the female contributors […]

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Public Sector Search Watch

Today I had a visitor (apparently) from a machine in Brent Town Council’s offices. He/she came looking for “fat young girls”. In connection with which of that London Borough’s administration’s published Objectives do you think the individual responsible was making such an enquiry?: Supporting children and young people Attain, retain and develop excellent staff Increasing […]

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MTA Wanted—Emphasis On T and A

Media composer Richard subscribes to various lists that offers work for people in his business. As with much of the media world, those offering gigs are fully aware of the desperation of celebrity wannabes to get any kind of experience—so they pay accordingly: peanuts or less. To use the jargon, they take the piss. Such […]

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