I was thinking of ‘Blogging Marcel Berlins’ explanation of why he supports Aston Villa Football Club before Norm tagged me about it. It contains possibly the ultimate middle-class football fan anecdote. 10 years old and fresh off the boat from France in South Africa, the lawyer-to-be chose to support Aston Villa because: “I knew what […]
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09Nov05 — 18
Sorry, We Don’t Do Business With Negroes
Soon it’ll be time to renew my car insurance. When I investigated, I was disappointed to discover that I don’t qualify for cover from Whitey’s Wheels, the new company that only insures Anglo-Saxon drivers. For some time now, actuaries have recognized that white people make fewer and smaller claims on their car insurance than black […]
Read More04Nov05 — 8
Tell Me Your Stories Or I Start The Engine
Relatively new ‘Blogger Gloria Salt of Apropos of Nothing emailed me the other day to ask me what was with all the photos of cats on ‘Blogs. I explained that catblogging was something of a tradition of the medium, to the extent that even male Oxford academic Chris Brooke had a “Thursday Kitten Blogging” feature. […]
Read More31Oct05 — 2
Yet Another Apology
As I’ve mentioned before, I won’t have Net access from home until the end of November and neither will I have a landline. I am now down to 20 minutes of talk time with Orange and they won’t let me upgrade (even temporarily) until the 19th. According to the advertised tariff, every minute I’m on […]
Read More25Oct05 — 15
A Long Way For A Bad Joke
[The image jitters, there is a thump as the sound comes on, and a haggard, hair-covered face fills the frame. Veils of windswept snow crystals twist and drift across the view.] SIR RANULPH FIENNES [for it is he]: Bally thing’s playing silly buggers again. Hello! Hello! Michael! MIKE IN THE STUDIO: Sir Ranulph! Can you […]
Read More24Oct05 — 6
Continuing Deprivation
According to NTL, “DunGeekin”, my new home by the sea, won’t have a landline or broadband connection until the end of November. That means half-baked anecdotes about life in Brighton & Hove until December for you lot, not that my recent boring content seems to have inhibited your commenting here. Today, I’ll mostly be buying […]
Read More23Oct05 — 5
Senior Moment
In a way, I’m glad I don’t have proper Internet access. The BBC radio news yesterday evening was apocalyptically depressing. How much global death, disaster, and destruction is it possible to fit into one broadcast? Pakistan, Mexico, South-East Asia. The latest Economist—a journal not normally known for “quagmire” rhetoric—welcomes the Iraqi people’s recent vote on […]
Read More22Oct05 — 23
Unmarried Bliss
I bought a bed (well, two futon-sofas) yesterday. I haven’t put it together yet, but even sleeping on the mattress alone was a huge improvement on sleeping on the floor, where I developed a serious neckache and dreamt, amongst other strange things, about driving Santa’s sleigh—pulled by the usual reindeer, plus a fox. While I […]
Read More19Oct05 — 2
Laddered
They came to install my broadband connection yesterday and the news was bad. Apparently the main cable is too far away and they’re going to have to “get Construction in” to move the access point nearer to the building and bring a link up to my flat—two weeks minimum before I’m back online properly. Sorry, […]
Read More18Oct05 — 1
Blanket Apology
For anyone who’s waiting for an email reply from me or even evidence that I am still alive, please accept my apologies and this ‘Blog post. I was unloading my belongings until 2:00 am this morning and have been sleeping on the floor for the past couple of days. I’ll be back to something like […]
Read More11Oct05 — 16
Pulling The Plug(s)
Things really really will be quiet around here for the next few days because I am moving from Cambridge to Brighton this week. During this time there will be a period of complete Internet “cold turkey”. Pray for me. See ya, Tabland. I’d like to say it’s been a blast, but I’d be lying.
Read More10Oct05 — 12
‘Women are spending too much time in sheds, and not everyone’s happy about it’
Further to this post, it’s time for a shed update from the Telegraph: The mystical covenant between men and sheds, an anchor of civilisation for centuries, appeared last week to be facing two dire threats to its existence; the advent of the £20,000 price tag, and an invasion by women. Twenty grand for a rickety […]
Read More09Oct05 — 4
Family Stuff
Congratulations to my sister who, in the early hours of this morning, had a boy, Samuel, to go with her almost exactly three-year-old girl, Maisie. (This is typical of Clare’s bombproof organisational skills.) Congrats to my brother-in-law too who is a top dad. Get well soon to my mum, who, annoyingly, went into hospital this […]
Read More03Oct05 — 5
Virus Alert
One of my correspondents—quite possibly someone in Canada—has a dose of I-Worm/Mytob.HL. Please could you do something about it because I’m getting bored of the infected spam your machine is sending me. Thank you.
Read More30Sep05 — 2
Usage And Abusage
Ten products routinely used in ways which expressly contradict their accompanying instructions or break English law: cotton wool buds—“Do not insert into the ear canal…” King-Size Rizla cigarette papers—did you know that the green Rizla papers with the corners cut off are for blind smokers? blank CD-Rs—“Obtain the permission of the copyright holder…” phallic vibrating […]
Read More29Sep05 — 10
Lovely Bloggers
I’m just back from Brighton where I had nothing to do with the Labour Party conference, but after some genuinely interesting and productive meetings (I didn’t say that often when I had a proper job), I had drinks and dinner with some delightful ‘Bloggers. Skuds has a report and a photo—the latter taken just as […]
Read More27Sep05 — 2
Two Quick Visuals
Via Elemy: “The average homeowner should expect to repair direct meteor damage every hundred million years.” Via the Motley Fool: “When you are in deep trouble, say nothing and try to be cool.”
Read More26Sep05 — 2
WLTM Complete Failure For Friendship, Long Walks
Just had that Hind on the phone. I did my listening thing while she relived a Very Important Exam In Doctoring with me because she’s worried she might have blown it. Hind, you haven’t. I know this because, as a medical school drop-out, I am an expert. Then she asked me about my life and, […]
Read More26Sep05 — 16
Strawberry Jammin’
My longstanding disdain for white people with dreadlocks is well known, and even extends to the otherwise charming and helpful young man in the local music shop who insists on addressing me as though we are lost siblings*. Even in Upside-Down World, if Hak is to believed, they have Pasty-farians: “[O]ne of Sydney’s more annoying […]
Read More25Sep05 — 4
Why Can’t It Wait Till Morning?
Via Happy As Kings, this collection of double-bed strife could be described as the Not-Calmer Sutra.
Read More24Sep05 — 19
You Can’t Get The Staff
On Thursday, as I drove from my appointment at the dole office JobCentrePlus, Cambridge looked beautiful enough to break your heart. Compared to Oxford, you don’t see people in gowns much here, but I passed a line of them walking very decoratively along The Backs that afternoon. The sun was shining low—through trees that hadn’t […]
Read More20Sep05 — 5
Birds, Eh?
Penguins: evidence of Intelligent Design or gay Commie bastards? You decide. [Having provided this link about animal behaviour and evolution I am now bracing myself for a breathtakingly confused Cuthbertson post accusing me of elevating “my radical politics” over “what science tells us about human goals and social realities” by failing to point out that […]
Read More19Sep05 — 4
Danickian Superwoman
Jackie Danicki has been on a roll lately. Her last two posts about women and life—“Truman Capote and the rewards of the mundane and unexpected” and “The real meaning of ‘equality’, and why most feminists are anything but ‘pro-choice’“—have been gems. A lot of female newspaper columnists follow the “Polly Filler” template of complaining for […]
Read More16Sep05 — 0
Back Again
Thin ‘Blogging this week too because I’ve been staying in Brighton with the Brincklows again. It was fun and productive and I’ve just got back. I wish I could tell you where I am hoping to live because it is so comprehensively, amusingly PooterGeek. Ah, the things I can’t ‘Blog…
Read More12Sep05 — 1
GSOH
[Before you read the article I link to below, those of you not up with geeky three letter acronyms need to know that “IRC” stands for “Internet Relay Chat”, which is like Microsoft Messenger for the sort of people who build their own PCs.] Related to the “people you wish you didn’t fancy” thread (which […]
Read More11Sep05 — 5
The Loneliness Of The Long-Distance ‘Blogger
Late this morning: I’m out for a run when I overtake Leasey and companion as they stroll past one of the haunts of Cambridge’s surreal inner-city cow population. I pause long enough in my exertions for Leasey to give me a hug and tell me that she needs to take me shopping for some new […]
Read More09Sep05 — 7
When I Lived In Modish Times
There are debates going on at Eric The Unread’s and at Harry’s Place about which of three of Eric’s teenage badges he should be most embarrassed about: Marillion, Lenin, or Greenpeace. This is indeed a question worthy of discussion. Amusingly, of the three corresponding Wikipedia entries I link to, only the Marillion one is undisputed. […]
Read More09Sep05 — 1
Her Indoors
Sorry about the thin posting at PooterGeek lately. The crossed keyboards and trousers rampant are flying again over PooterGeek Towers because I am now back in residence, having spent a few days scouting around Brighton for a new place to live, meeting up with collaborators on my next big thing, music making, and generally socialising […]
Read More08Sep05 — 8
Suppressing Dissent
This lunchtime, Borders bookshop/café/newsagents: having picked up a couple of special offer items, I’m on my way out into the street when I notice the two Georges—“Gorgeous” Galloway and “Moonbat” Monbiot that is—at 20 percent off. As always I have my long-suffering Minolta with me, so I get it out of my rucksack and uncap […]
Read More03Sep05 — 12
Jordan: The Comeback
My mother always taught me that reading books would help me to get on in life*. You only have to look at my dazzling career to see how right she was. (Funnily enough, people in my old job looked at me like I was stupid because I refused to cite a source without actually plodding […]
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