“Tigger ‘fondled my breast’” is a classic tabloid headline and, fortunately for Michael Chartrand, contains a classic tabloid lie [free Telegraph registration required]. Disney might be re-employing him, but I don’t think they’ll be putting him in a tiger suit again any time soon.
Read MoreI cannot wait to see Team America: World Police. As an almost-lifelong fan of Thunderbirds and a supporter of Good in the global War on Evil, I started laughing when the trailer reached its half-way point and didn’t stop until well after it had finished.
Read MoreIn the race to be weirdest family pop act of all time, the Trachtenburgs are driving a station wagon very fast. [Thanks to James “le goth” Arthur of Richard‘s film composition course. Requires RealPlayer.]
Read MoreWhat’s more annoying: the one-sentence-per-paragraph formatting of this story or its poor-me, whining celebrity content? Beauty is a curse: Halle Berry Halle Berry. She was the first African-American to represent America at the Miss World pageant. She has won enough beauty titles to last a lifetime. And she has an Oscar (Monster’s Ball) to her […]
Read MoreThe Internet Movie Database's Fresh Faces is a showcase for less well-known actors and a monument to American dentistry. You can play casting director and flip through the talent ruthlessly, ticking or crossing the potential of the hopefuls on the basis of their (no-doubt Photoshopped) publicity photos alone. Whether you are male or female; straight, […]
Read MoreSo I agreed in the end. They renewed my licence to kill; I loaded my PPK; I strapped on the chronograph with its plutonium-powered homing device; I got back into the Aston Martin; and I went into action. I asked for Clooney, Connery, and Berry as co-stars. What did they send me? A bunch of […]
Read MoreIt's simple. If high school nerd and all-round misfit Anthony Michael Hall doesn't hack the Pentagon mainframe in 24 hours, maverick pilot Tom Cruise won't be able to launch his fighter-bombing raid with musclebound, homo-erotic foil Val Kilmer in time to stop half-Russian, half-South African drug dealer Joss Ackland from beating the truth out of […]
Read MoreAh, we've been expecting you, Commander Blair. Do please sit down. Thank you, schir. I and my fellow members of this inquiry are fully aware of the sensitivity of your role. Rest assured that no information about you nor any specifics of your professional activities will leave this room and that the transcript of our […]
Read MoreA couple of weeks back, I saw Shrek 2 with the Anonymous Economist and the Clandestine Celt—not only do they not want to be named in my 'Blog, they want their romance to be kept secret too :-O —and afterwards said to them that it was the kinkiest, campest mainstream cartoon I'd seen in ages. […]
Read MoreSince I can't think of anything worth 'Blogging and Norm's post will guarantee PooterGeek hundreds of hits without my lifting a finger, here is a gratuitous picture of Nigella Lawson. Scott Burgess wasted energy writing something interesting to justify the one on his 'Blog this week. For balance, here's one of George Clooney. George and […]
Read MoreI'm nearly thirty years late to this, but here's Wave Magazine's review of Turkish Star Wars. [Thanks to Slashdot user, “Lost Dragon“.]
Read MoreWhen Dolly the Sheep was cloned from a single cell of her mother/twin's udders, one of the science-fiction-horror side-effects of the manner of her conception was the premature ageing of Dolly's own cells. Someone should tell Britney that the terrible downside of being created from a flash-frozen scraping of Madonna's left breast is that she […]
Read MoreSorry to resort to the same edition of Private Eye again, but I have to share this with my American friends. It's from a regular column in the magazine called “Luvvies” to which readers submit ridiculous quotes from actors. This week's was from Emmy Rossum, being interviewed in Vanity Fair: “We were doing this scene […]
Read MoreI don’t censor PooterGeek (except for libel), so the posts at the infamous Naked Harry Potter entry get more numerous and bizarre with time. [That page is now only fifth hit at Google for the search “Naked Harry Potter”.] One new comment arrived yesterday while I was logged on. Because of this I could check […]
Read MoreDave Diamond is an American voiceover artiste. He has a Website showcasing his talents. He is obviously very good at what he does. To sneery, snobby, ironic, English ears like mine, however, what he does is hilarious. There is no way I could keep a straight face long enough to deliver the script to the […]
Read MoreChuck Jones—the director of Wile E. Coyote, “Super-Genius”—and his co-workers at Warner Brothers worked to a set of rules when creating the Road Runner cartoons: The Road Runner cannot harm the Coyote except by going “Beep-Beep!” No outside force can harm the Coyote—only his own ineptitude or the failure of the Acme products. The Coyote […]
Read MoreHere’s a collection of links that have been deserted in my virtual in-tray for a while, uncommented upon and unshared: Hugh linked me to this bizarre event at a US university—not an April Fool, there are pearls of wit amongst the pellets of gravel at the Four Word Film Review site—I liked the reviews of […]
Read MoreBrosnan is looking shaky for the next next Bond movie, so speculation about the replacement has started. Hugh Jackman I could just about believe, but Orlando Bloom? Puh-lease! BOND: You’ll never get away with it, you madman. Dr EVIL: [THWACK] BOND: Ow, that hurt! ‘S’not fair! ‘S’not fair! Dr EVIL: Now take off that tuxedo […]
Read MoreOpen Range is an excellent film, well acted. It’s slow and has a couple of unfortunate structural flaws, but it features at least one awesome, crunchingly realistic gunfight. Robert Duvall is solid as usual, though, at an absolutely crucial moment, he blows it by focusing his gaze on a camera. However, it’s Costner’s movie and […]
Read MoreWARNING: Only follow the link if you have already seen the movie. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Exorcist performed in 30 seconds by cartoon bunnies.
Read MoreStop me if I’m getting boring about this, but… I’ve just come upon a banner ad showing the edge of a crown of thorns and bearing the message “You’ve seen the movie Now understand its meaning” . It leads to this page where the Catholic church takes full advantage of a golden marketing opportunity.
Read MoreThere’s a bit of a problem with that link to Bruce Anderson’s Spectator article about The Passion, “Christianity and Judaism Cannot Be Reconciled”, so I’ve inserted a couple of choice quotes in my original post about it. Also, some have suggested that this link might go to someone else’s illegal mirror of the Anderson piece. […]
Read MoreWriting an article titled ” Christianity and Judaism cannot be reconciled”, Bruce Anderson of The Spectator might be the only person on the planet who agrees with me (up to a point) about The Passion. Unlike me, he’s seen the film and recently read the Bible. (Unlike everyone else I’ve linked to on the matter, […]
Read MoreI hate slapstick. John Sessions once described it as “people being very stupid, very slowly, over and over again.” As I watched the trailer for the new feature-length Starsky and Hutch and a succession of surreal pratfalls flickered past, my desire to see the film itself slowly seeped away. Then I came to the end […]
Read MoreIf Nicole Kidman invited me up onto her sleigh for some Turkish delight, I might be tempted to join the forces of darkness.
Read MoreIn today’s Observer there is a report on Disney pinning some hope of recovery on hugely expensive productions of C. S. Lewis’s Narnia books. The correct versions of my last two posts are now up. The content isn’t hugely different, but they are now easier to read and make slightly more sense than the ones […]
Read MoreThe next Coen Brothers Production is a remake of English comedy classic The Ladykillers, with Tom Hanks in the Alec Guinness role. Sounds dodgy? If the trailer on the official site is anything to go by, it could be good.
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