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The Web

Surfing The Wave

Jackie‘ll like this. And, just as rocket science and brain surgery are not necessarily the most intellectually demanding specialisms of physics and medicine respectively, Tim also points out that organising a piss-up in a brewery is a non-trivial exercise.

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WebThatch

[Through a tiny RealPlayer window it is difficult to make out the gloomy interior of a top-of-the-range Executive Home in Dulwich. The scene brightens as a fluorescently-lit life-support pod opens and we catch a glimpse of a giant electromechanical hand lowering a pulsating mass of hair onto MARGARET THATCHER’s scalp. One lower petal of the […]

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Dude Central

Jeff Bridges is a quirky and talented actor. He has also an interesting Website. Like me he puts his music and his photographs and his bad jokes online. Unlike me he’s a hugely successful Hollywood superstar with great hair. Check out his urinal endorsement. Nicole Kidman’s not going to be doing an ad for Armitage […]

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Your Fifteen Minutes Start Now

The blogtacular Grammar Puss sticks it to Sandi Thom, a “politically aware” songstress who keeps it so real that her marketing people have to invent an up-from-the-Net overnight sensation story to give her some street cred. And dontcha love the way the bint confuses fashion statements with actual achievements? Of course she’d rather sing out […]

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Normal Service Resumed

UPDATE: Now we’re really, really back. UPDATE: Nah, we’re off the Net again. We apologise for the recent interruption on our journey to World Domination. The online conspiracy of the Jewish-American Neo-Con Revolutionary Communist Cardigan-Wearing People’s Army That Really Really Isn’t Worth A Moment Of Anyone’s Time At All But Here’s My Fifth Blogpost Railing […]

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Disruption At Euston

I think it’s a measure of the success of this thing that my phone won’t stop ringing when the Euston Manifesto site goes down. I even missed two calls while Norm was on the phone to me about it. It’s not a problem with the site itself or a targeted attack; all Websites at our […]

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…Jokers To The Right

Just to demonstrate that the loonies attacking the Euston Manifesto aren’t exclusively Left-wing: “Does it say anything that Jews do not have to wiped off the face of the earth? I figured not. Even “enlightened” Eurolefties are psychotic Nazi Jew-haters.” I’ve been on the Net for a long, long time but, until this document went […]

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Informational Post

In the past few days, for some strange reason, people who have never met me before have been accusing me of being a middle-aged, white, public-schoolboy, “hebe” second-rate academic. Honky Cohensell relaxes at the Groucho Club unaware that the “real” holocaust is about to wipe the smile off his face. “Second-rate academic”? I dream of […]

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Rage And Reason

These three blogs have all drawn attention to the dichotomy between the strange habits of angry Left-wingers online as reported by The Washington Post and the tone and content of the Euston Manifesto. There is something deliciously satisfying about seeing the wilfully stupid wax hysterical at the thought of a few people meeting in a […]

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The Euston Manifesto

Today, 13Apr06, we—bloggers, academics, campaigners, writers, scientists, journalists, citizens—launch the Euston Manifesto. With this document we hope to publicly assert our progressive, democratic, egalitarian, internationalist principles in the face of recent attacks upon them from the Right and, to our dismay, the Left. Many of us are of the Left, but we come from across […]

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Slight Technical Problem

If you’ve emailed me recently—today, that is—I probably won’t have received it (yet). I have exceeded my data storage quota with my hosts. This is entirely my fault for allowing myself to be distracted by another Web project. Ironically most of my excess data take the form of huge visitor logs. Yes, I can’t read […]

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George’s Problems Solved

George Szirtes complained recently of PooterGeek looking even weirder than usual on his old Mac. This was fixed by installing the free version of this Web browser. It also improved his experience of various other sites compared with the way they looked under Internet Explorer—not surprising given that IE is software written by bum-heads.

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Is This The Best They Have To Offer?

When I’m browsing the Web, I usually do so with an alternative browser, boasting pop-up blockers, referer spoofers, and ad filters. (I also wear an all-body condom and a bullet-proof vest.) This is faster, but looks—to other, less obsessive, people—strange. There’s no visual spam. Where most people see animated games inviting them to “SQUISH THE […]

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Wandering The Web

I spent the final three days of last week in a grant-writing binge: tapping at my keyboards in the early hours, making phone calls to Brighton, wading through artspeak, eating dodgy fast-food. Over the weekend I had a chance to perambulate properly in cyberspace. By following the ‘Blog aggregator of a friend I found an […]

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Plots In The Klondike

The mini-revival of dotcom mania is in full swing. Even The Guardian printed a student entrepreneur story yesterday. A month ago the “bedroom boffin” (as has probably already been described by his local newspaper) had an idea that’s turned out to be a cleverer than it looks on paper. Alex Tew’s milliondollarhomepage sells off space […]

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“A terrific eye-bulging belter”

Talking of young Conservatives, many older members worry that the party is not only suffering in the polls, but that there are few up-and-coming Tories around to reinvigorate the organisation. Recess Monkey, however, has been scouting for emerging talent. [Recess Monkey down as of 10:00hrs BST.] Check out the gobsmacking Website of Annesley Abercorn, candidate […]

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Fashion It Is Then

Remember when they used to do stories about falling sales at Marks and Spencer, when they still didn’t take credit cards? Today it’s a story about falling profits at French Connection, whose Website won’t allow you to look at anything at all unless you have Flash installed. Once you have Flash installed then you can […]

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No One Would Have Believed…

Watch the red weed of PooterGeekers spread across the whole planet. Thanks to these guys I’ve been a beta-tester for the Clustrmap hit-tracking system for the last couple of days. I have ten invites that I can send to anyone else on the Web who would like to know where their visitors live. One is […]

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I Put A Spell On You

Gaze greenly upon my grammatical geekiness, Pashmina! PooterGeek can now check your comments for spelling mistakes, even as you type. If you want the Dictionary Police to patrol your prose just click on whichever spell-checking option you prefer as it now appears above the Comment box. Be patient. They take a little while to process […]

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“Poo” By Name

I am told by PooterGeekers, including the currently-one-armed Hot Wheels Helena, that they come here by typing “poo” into their Web browsers and letting auto-complete do the rest. Be careful that the rest of the URL is filled in before you hit “Return” or, like Hot Wheels, you are likely to find yourself at the […]

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Unknown Talent

I’ve been ill lately—a cold and upset stomach which, if I had a wife, I would tell her was “gastric ‘flu”. Being ill is boring. Yesterday evening I crawled out of bed about nine to entertain myself by surfing the Web for some free music to download. There’s a site where people using a particular […]

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Dial 419 For A Transfer

Dear Mr Hussein I am Barrister Ife Giza. I represent “Gorgeous” George Galloway, the recently deceased rightful ruler of the People’s Republic of Bethnal Green. I write to you in good faith based on information he gave to me in person during a meeting with him in his office in the Houses of Parliament before […]

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Two Names Better

George Bush beats Britney Spears; Martin Luther beats George Washington; Tony Blair beats Michael Jackson beats Jesus Christ; Bill Clinton beats Saddam Hussein; Osama Bin Laden beats Kofi Annan; Bob Dylan beats Donald Rumsfeld; Angelina Jolie beats Arnold Schwarzenegger. But tough luck to Madonna, Seal, Bono, and Sting. If you’re so famous you have one […]

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