28Feb05 — 1

“Doing The Patriotic Thing”

Yesterday I had lunch with a “fellow” Catholic whose grandfather used to hide fugitive members of the “old” IRA in his house in the Irish countryside. We discussed the disgust being expressed by republicans north and south of the border at the behaviour of the supposed descendants of his grandad’s lodgers. Cathal (not his real name of course) was sure that, even now, there would be others in, say, parts of Limerick who might still be sympathetic enough to their cause to do such things, but he himself felt differently. Once it had started it was difficult to stem his flow of anger at the thugs and crooks he thought they had finally admitted themselves to be, as the flow of money across the Atlantic to the IRA was drying up.

I pointed out that people were rather less likely to hide terrorists in their attics if the resulting change in the world’s view of their country (however distorted) would wipe forty thousand euro off the value of their homes. He pointed out that young people are rather less likely to be Irish nationalists when they’ve grown up thinking of themselves as Europeans.

He also said he had heard recently, for the first time, a BBC reporter referring to a Sinn Féin spokesman’s sponsors as “Sinn Féin-IRA”. When the Beeb finally gets round to accusing you of being a terrorist you know you’re in trouble.

28Feb05 — 0

All This And Self-Mockery Too

As if anyone needed another reason to fancy Halle Berry, she turns out to have a GSOH as well:

Halle Berry thanked the makers of Catwoman for “putting me in a God-awful movie” when she turned up to collect her worst actress Razzie award.

The actress, whose surprise appearance got her a standing ovation from a packed house, made a lengthy speech, parodying her 2002 Oscar win.

27Feb05 — 2

Punk Slam Dunked

Effra, the first commenter on this story at Harry’s Place says most of the things I’ve felt about punk for the past twenty-plus years. She does so as she compares that musical movement of late seventies to this Web movement of the mid-noughties. She’s right about punk, but her assessment of ‘Blogging is about as farsighted as the view favoured by journos about ten years ago that email for non-scientists was like CB radio for non-truckers—just a nerdy craze.

If you only read Anglo political/media ‘Blogs you’re not just missing the point of modifiable Webpages (of which ‘Blogs are a small subset), you’re so late to the game you don’t understand the rules at all. Dismissing ‘Blogs on the basis of examples like Harry’s Place (and PooterGeek) as inconsequential, middle-class, white-boy wank is like dismissing the novel as a girly fad on the basis of reading chick lit. While we’re looking at our hitcounters and sipping our coffee and bitching at each other, there are people using this medium to share real information and create lasting repositories of scholarship. Many others are using it to fight for the liberation of their countries—and they are so effective in doing so that the regimes they protest against are prepared to lock them up to stop them.

This piece about Wikipedia [via Boing Boing, via Slashdot] explains why, in this new wikiworld, merit triumphs over authority—Wikipedia beats Britannica;good ‘Blogger beats bad newspaper editor. That is the main reason ‘Blogs are better than punk. If you want to succeed as a ‘Blogger, hype will get you exactly nowhere. Unlike the punk band member, the ‘Blogger must be competent and engaging to get an audience. Gobbing at people under the guidance of a music biz svengali who went to the same public [private] school as the journalist writing about your gig is not enough.

27Feb05 — 0

Is There No End To The Boredom?

I’ve added months of old posts. (See the Archive section over there –>.) I couldn’t even be bothered to go on a nostalgia trip and read any of the content, so sick am I of the sight of a computer monitor. There’s still a big gap between April 2002 and March 2003, but who cares?

Laugh at some celebrities instead. Here‘s the presenter of some crappy, music-video-padded, kids’ TV slot “aspiring” to the A-list:

T4 host Steve Jones has revealed that he wants to quit British television, in the hope of becoming a star in the US.

The presenter recently auditioned for the role of Superman, and although he was not offered the part, he claims that he has “things in the pipeline”.

“I really want to try acting,” he told The Sun. “If it took off, I’d have to leave T4, which is a shame as I’ve had a great time. But it’s definitely what I want to do next.”

He added, “I interview actors and meet Hollywood people. Something might come from that.”

What a tit.

Of course, it’s unselfconscious and deluded people like that who do become A-listers in our strange postmodern, post-Madonna, contemporary world of fame. Even Paris Hilton is a film star now. I am willing to bet, however, that Jordan and Peter Andre will never appear in a Quentin Tarantino production or collect a golden statuette. They are about to have a baby together, though. If the child doesn’t grow up to have large breasts it will be the final nail in the coffin of Lamarckian inheritance.

25Feb05 — 1

How Many Times?

“The decor looks like an asylum! Where’s my ‘Blogroll link? I want the pretty finger back! I can tell you how to fix that comment spam!”

For the next week or so the only complaints I want to hear from you rabble are if your legitimate comments are being bounced, otherwise please stop griping about the upgrade. I’m a busy man. It’ll all get done, but in small steps, as and when I have the chance. Besides, ‘Blogging about running a ‘Blog is very boring indeed.

And, I might point out, the ‘Blogroll is back and I’ve just started up a new and ruthlessly conservative hitcounter (BBClone on the “Rumsfeld” setting). See under “Unique Counts” at the foot of the sidebar –>.

I set this up because of Hak’s whining about download times and Anonymous’s pointing out that I have fallen out of my lowly throne in the hit parade. Trouble is, these days, I don’t have the time to write actual content to bring any visitors in.

Quote of the week:

“[Damian, ]I know you well enough to flatshare with you. I read your ‘Blog.”

24Feb05 — 1

You Will Be Assimilated

This evening I tuned into a new radio station called Chill. Apparently the music I make belongs to the chill-out sub-genre. And apparently this accidental “movement” is now big enough to be a genre in itself. I am accidentally fashionable—or rather I am accidentally a few years behind the curve, because it’s mainstream now.

The radio station called Chill has no DJs, no news, no travel announcements, and the records go unnamed, but I recognised the Orb’s Little Fluffy Clouds. It features the voice of Rickie Lee Jones—not that she was entirely happy to have a snippet of an interview with her sampled into the track. There is a page in the marvellous everything2 where you can find out some other curious things about the record. The interviewer’s voice belongs to LeVar Burton who played Geordi La Forge on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Every sound on the recording is a sample. There’s some Pat Metheny guitar on it. It’s actually an “ambient” (ambient techno) track, but now the mighty superset of chill has subsumed it.

One day all music will be chill. Except for the output of these guys, which will be trip-hop.

23Feb05 — 3

Oversensitive

It could be that there is a real Harry Thompson with the misfortune to share the same IP address as Benji, so I’ve re-instated his comments—see over there –>.

Maybe I’m becoming cynical in my old age, but it’s possible to go too far the other way. Hot Wheels Helena asked me today, “Why has someone calling himself ‘Online Poker’ put a comment on my ‘Blog?…”

22Feb05 — 4

Shaddap, Already!

Look, peeps, this is temporary. I’ve upgraded out of necessity, not for aesthetic reasons. As I tried to explain a couple of days ago, you’ll get your favourite features back once I have some time to spend on this site—and I’ve figured out how the new WordPress themes architecture works. Until then, please stop whining. You’re actually audible over the near-continuous blaring of the zone alarms. I do have a life outside PooterGeek, you know. [Anyone who challenges that last claim gets electrocuted like the rabbits.]

22Feb05 — 4

Rabbits On The Perimeter Fence

Reading a ‘Blog on the Web is like watching a swan on the water: you have no idea of the furious activity that’s going on under the surface. Within hours of my upgrading this thing, 57 varieties of annoying spamming scum and devious abusive snotbag converged on pootergeek.com probing and testing for weaknesses. Every five minutes some virtual alarm or other was blaring away. Give up, boys. Pick on people with unpatched Windows machines sitting unattended in their kitchen.

By the way, hi Benji, or “Harry” as you are currently calling yourself. You can pretend to be whoever you like, you’re not getting in. Your big mistake was trying to flatter me in your fake request-for-admission email: as a rule, if anyone says anything nice about me it’s because they want their computer fixing or because they are up to no good.

20Feb05 — 8

I’ve Got The Decorators In

The design looks pretty strange to me too. I’m working on it.

I’d really had enough of comment spam linking to “granny she-male cock” and the like appearing in my moderation system while I put off upgrading to WordPress 1.5. Now I’ve finally, er, crossed over there’ll be lots of other weird stuff going on around here (again) I’m sure. Unfortunately I’m too busy to fix it. You’ll have to deal with it, people. You get what you pay for. Yes, I am grumpy. It’s snowing and I could be somewhere much warmer right now if I didn’t have so much to do.

19Feb05 — 9

It’s Academic Now

I also often disagree violently with the politics of the Anonymous Economist (AE) especially when it comes to Iraq. Yesterday, as we are wont to do, we had a vigorous online debate about British higher education. This is not surprising since we both currently have a professional interest in the subject. At the end of that electronic correspondence the AE found him/herself in the awkward position of having found common ground with me (PG).

AE:
“…frankly I think they should invest their money first and foremost in hiring better staff (which requires better salaries).

PG
…which requires the government to free the universities from the HEFCE “we-fund-your-teaching-on-the-basis-of-your-research” model and/or needs academics in the good universities to have the balls to go private. I couldn’t agree more with you about salaries, but they can’t be raised properly because even the premier league institutions are too addicted to their state handouts to make the move to true academic freedom that would allow them to afford to compete for talent properly.

Instead of paying their way by charging rich Brit brats what their lifestyle accessory degrees really cost, they supplement their income by ripping off foreign students. They’d rather be mediocre and dependent than join the global elite. Why? Because real competition scares them out of their talentless wits. Now that *is* very “British”. But, if you look at Premier League football you can see what a massive improvement is possible from liberating one of this country’s famous old institutions and paying the talent according to how it delivers to the customers.

AE:
I hate agreeing with you.
I hate it.

PG:
Not as much as I hate agreeing with George Bush.

AE:
that sooooooooooooooooo cheered me up.

19Feb05 — 0

Coren-ation

Much as I disagree with his politics, I have to concede that Jeremy Hardy was on superb form on The News Quiz this week. He even managed to justify the existence of Alan Coren. The latter seems to have taken up the role of Hardy’s straight man, setting up gags for the Second Funniest Man On UK Radio Today* in a suspiciously rehearsed-sounding way. The new bloke was good too—not that I can remember his name of course. Shame Hardy doesn’t use Google before he peddles a myth as truth though, but that’s anti-war celebs for you.

[*He’s runner-up to this guy, who can’t resist linking from his site to a hugely feeble Flash attack on George W Bush.]

18Feb05 — 0

Via Slashdot

Those Americans, eh?:

“The UK is known for many things, great food, a wonderful climate and beautiful women. However, according to a story on The Guardian, a new study puts the UK ahead in one more category: it leads the world in TV piracy, accounting for 38.4% of the world’s TV downloads, with Australia coming in second at 15.6% and the US in third at a pitiful 7.3%”

18Feb05 — 8

The Less Said The Worse

Films these days start out being pitched as a high concept—“My script is Ghost meets Titanic in outer space”—and end up being reviewed as a high concept—“James Cameron’s I Loved A Phantom Starship Captain is Ghost meets Titanic in outer space”. It does save you time when a film you haven’t seen is compared to one you have seen and hated, but, these days, like job applicants’ references, the snippets of press reviews on movie posters are often more informative when you read them between the line. Michael Brooke posted a little while back on the power of selective quotation, but, except in his extreme cases, we see through that too. Most of us have learned to note the source of the gushing and think about the words that aren’t on the poster. Here are four releases at the local video shop I won’t be renting any time soon:

  • Last Life In The Universe: “Casts as compelling a lovelorn spell as Lost In Translation“—The Big Issue
  • King Arthur: “Just about the best battle scenes ever”—News of the World
  • Cold Creek Manor: “A Cape Fear-style thriller” [and Battlestar Galactica is a Star Wars-style space opera]—The Independent
  • Catwoman: “Halle Berry” [Yes, apart from the title and a picture of the star dressed in her cutaway, spray-on leather outfit these are the only words on the front cover of the DVD.]
18Feb05 — 0

The Threat From The Curds

Hot Wheels Helena now has her own ‘Blog, but I am not allowed to link to it yet, which is why half of the posts this week are courtesy of her. Because Her Boy had (administrative, not financial) problems with his plastic we had to shop for dinner on Wednesday immediately beforehand. As I wandered up an aisle in Tesco [apparently my referring to it as “Tesco’s” in conversation marks me down as working class] I stumbled upon some Cheddar labelled “Xtreme Cheese”. This seems to be the latest and most absurd example of the tendency for mundane products to be packaged to imply that their consumption is more like a dangerous sport than an everyday activity. Everything’s “XXXtreme” this and “Maxxximum” that. Well, I thought that until Helena pointed out that, according to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents Website, there are 40 cheese-related admissions to UK hospital casualty departments in a typical year. [Search for “hass” and open the PDF “Accident Statistics : 2002”—a bit of rummaging and you’ll get there.] The woman’s a natural ‘Blogger, I tell ya.

17Feb05 — 3

Built-In Obsolescence

Last weekend, as I regarded the wreckage from my most recent computer system balls-up (again), I decided that I should at least squeeze some good from the bad and upgrade PooterGeek’s software to the latest version of WordPress. I stayed up late on Sunday night carefully moving my modifications from 1.1 to 1.2, and also installed 1.2 for a friend at the same time. I browse over to the WordPress site this evening looking to restore the code that lets you guys preview your comments before you post them to PooterGeek. The front page is covered with the news that the bastards have just released version 1.5. There goes another frigging Sunday evening.

17Feb05 — 1

A Heartwarming Story Of Crime And Punishment

Just over a week ago, Duncan Grisby, one of this city’s many alpha geeks, invited readers of the legendary “cam.misc” discussion board to pop along to his Website to examine his action shots of a burglar. The thief had been filmed by the video Webcam that was sitting on top of the four thousand pounds’ worth of computer gear he managed to carry out of Dr Grisby’s flat. On police advice, Grisby immediately took the pics down, much to the disappointment of those of us at the Genome Campus who were late to the catch-a-chav show. The images are back now, because the criminal who was caught in the act has since been well and truly nicked by Her Majesty’s constabulary. [Thanks, yet again, to Hot Wheels Helena.]

16Feb05 — 0

Class War: Two Things

Hot Wheels Helena did mention that my account of the boxing tournament between Cambridge students and residents might have given the impression that I didn’t have a good night out. I did, in fact, have an excellent time. She also mentioned that—further to my amusement at one of the university’s champions being called “Hugh”—she and her posse had to try hard not to laugh at one of their neighbours in the audience actually going by the name “Tarquin”.

[Thanks to her and Her Boy for the food and the introduction to Grand Theft Auto this evening.]

15Feb05 — 1

Bang

I bought a copy of Kate Fox’s Watching The English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour a few weeks back. I’ve not really had time to read it of course. So far I’ve managed three chapters: “The Weather” (which, appropriately, opens the book), “Linguistic Class Codes”, and “Rules of Sex”. It’s pretty accurate so far—so accurate that it’s not as funny as I’d hoped. A German friend of mine thinks it’s brilliant.

The last chapter in particular has some apt things to say about a country where a local radio station celebrates “National Contraceptive Awareness Week” by having a competition to guess how long it will take for a condom to burst when it’s inflated live on air*. My collection of Durex balloon animals is neither here nor there in this discussion. Their limbs were all past their use-by date and would have gone completely to waste otherwise.

[*For those who didn’t catch it I’ve just had the pleasure of listening to a review of the previous round and the condom lasted 35 seconds.]

15Feb05 — 3

Reason To Be Cheerful

I tune to Radio 2 in the bathroom, having run through the local stations (“all Bedingfield—all the time”), Virgin (“all REM—all the time”), and Radio 1 (“old people pretending to be young, playing music to young people pretending to be old”). Instead of the usual rambling from Terry Wogan, Johnnie Walker is at the mic and he’s playing When Smokey Sings by ABC. Cue the shower dance.

(Shame about the sax solo on that track.)

14Feb05 — 4

Don’t Panic

I think the quote at the end of this piece is probably accurate. It undercuts the rest by saying that fears of a new, aggressive strain of HIV are “a storm in a teacup” [© Benjamin Mackie 2004]. But ten years ago I was sitting in a common room when one of the most senior professors of medicine in the UK predicted that such a thing would happen. I thought he was wrong, for what that’s worth (and his specialty isn’t infectious disease).

14Feb05 — 0

Feel The Love

The Financial Times tells the story of an estranged partner seeking reconciliation. Tony is from Mars; The People are from Venus:

The prime minister used his keynote speech at Labour’s spring conference in Gateshead to acknowledge it was largely his fault that his bond with the public had frayed.

His decision to reach out to frustrated voters – he likened it to fixing a troubled relationship after “a bit of crockery” had been thrown – reflects growing Labour fears that many voters will stay at home rather than back his party in the general election expected on May 5.

…

But the most striking feature was a soul-searching analysis of where Mr Blair felt his relationship with the public had gone wrong, which presented the relationship as a tempestuous marriage. “I understand why some people feel angry – not just over Iraq but many of the difficult decisions we made,” he said. “And, as ever, a lot of it is about me.”

Mr Blair said the relationship had been soured by the Iraq experience and turned into a situation in which the public seemed to be saying: “You’re not listening” – while the prime minister replied: “You’re not hearing me”.

“Look, y’know, it’s not about you…”

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