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Movies

Kissin’ in The Back Row

[Black screen. The members of a US “indie” band attempt vainly to hide their highly practised musicianship as they perform a song about balloons called “A Song About Balloons“.] MOVIE TRAILER VOICEOVER: You’ve had a hard week at work. All you want is to do is slump in front of a DVD in which Bruce […]

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Hands Across The Ocean

Hi, Knut. Jerry here. Yeah, I’m afraid it is kinda bad news again. Look, I gotta be honest with you: Pixar have nixed the whole project. No, it wasn’t your fee—though I gotta say they thought the spec you were demanding for your Winnebago was, er, “unusual”. You really wanna know? Hey, don’t take this […]

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M Night Shyamalan’s Signs Of Sense In The Unbreakable Global Village

[A New England meadow. A delicately beautiful Indian woman in a simple smock dress picks daisies with which to decorate her hair.] INDIAN WOMAN [singing to herself as she gazes into the forest beyond]: “बिछड़े अभी तो हम, बस कल परसों,” “जियूँगी मैं कैसे, इस हाल में बरसों?” “मौत न आई, तेरी याद कयों आई?” […]

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Sex-u-a-lity

Given that I spent New Year’s Eve alone at my computer keyboard tidying up my remote UNIX home directory, this is going to read like a middle-class white guy wibbling on about how “vibrant” the local “community” is as he moves into a flat in one of London’s tiny ethnic war-zones instead of the Georgian […]

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Surely This Is A Spoof?

Watching grim news reports from Iraq lately, many people have hoped that the ongoing suffering of its people might be put into proper perspective by a funny-looking Italian bloke clowning around Baghdad in retro underwear. At last that dream has come true. Sentimentality, slapstick, glib geopolitics, and cut-and-paste ethnic colour. On the evidence of this […]

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Not German Efficiency

I am notoriously sensitive to people revealing the plots of television series and films. As pharma geek Anthony correctly diagnosed, I watch things long after their broadcast/release, often via Amazon’s cheap and cheerful rental-by-post system, and I don’t have a TV. A side-effect is that many of my reviews here are out-of-date, but at least […]

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Blood On The Poolfloor

For regulars here not also regulars at Norm’s place: the Prof is currently in Upsidedownland watching the cricket between Australia and England. Yesterday he linked to an article from The Australian about England bowler Monty Panesar. Reading it, this passage, er, struck me: [T]he safest way to dive into the water is to keep your […]

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Critical Mess

Clive Davis is discouraged from seeing Casino Royale, the new new Bond, by of this review by Cosmo Landesman. He shouldn’t be. Landesman fails to grasp even the basics of the (not particularly complicated) plot and then complains that what he thinks is going on is “absurd”. It’s worse than that: understanding what is actually […]

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Euston Invocation Of The Week

From a review entitled “Understanding Borat” on the blog The Libyan Observer: Moreover, nowadays, when the Jewish State’s influence within the American administration is academically and historically established (The Israel Lobby, John Mearsheimer and Stephen Walt) when the support for Neoconservatism that has lead to a genocide in Iraq is largely endorsed by the Zionist […]

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A Sound Of Blunder

EDWARD BURNS: Yes, I am Edward Burns, the legendary molecular bio-something-or-other. Like all world-famous interdisciplinary scientists I have a cuboid jawline and impeccable upper-body development. You can tell I’m an intellectual from my stubble, my carefully ruffled hair, and my slightly messy luxury urban apartment. No, they couldn’t afford Matthew McConaughey. ASTOUNDINGLY UNCONVINCING STROLL AGAINST […]

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Notices

Miraculously, unlike Fisking Central, Tim Worstall missed this gem of a Comment Is Fatuous article today, one that neatly combines economic illiteracy, snobbery, and a reassuringly ethnic byline. It’s sad that an interesting question is obscured by article’s stupidity. But he didn’t miss this collection of Amazon reviews of Great Works, which should appeal more […]

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The Motherland

Brian Micklethwait has a post up about Sierra Leone. It’s opposite of the sort of thing many of journalists would write about the place, being politically incorrect, interesting to the casual reader, and crude but accurate—as opposed to sensitive but misleading. It’s the sort of summary of the place you might get from a mate […]

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Hollywood Boobs

During our Keira-frenzy, I forgot to draw attention to the photoshoppery that accompanied one of her earlier “historical” movie romps. Check out her amazing inflating chest [safe for work]. Also on Defamer you can watch Mel Gibson’s TV confession. What he did was wrong and he doesn’t pretend otherwise. It’s toe-curling stuff, but you can’t […]

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Waffly Good

Regulars will know that I am not a lover of art house cinema. (I have been meaning to slag off the execrable Volver here since I saw endured it a few weeks back.) But yesterday evening I watched a grim, documentary-style Belgian film and enjoyed it. Hilariously, the plot, such as it is, centres almost […]

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Dude Central

Jeff Bridges is a quirky and talented actor. He has also an interesting Website. Like me he puts his music and his photographs and his bad jokes online. Unlike me he’s a hugely successful Hollywood superstar with great hair. Check out his urinal endorsement. Nicole Kidman’s not going to be doing an ad for Armitage […]

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Puerile, I Know

All the women reading this must now punish me in the comments here for giggling like a schoolboy at Jo Salmon’s Star Wars blog post yesterday, in which she actually resorted to the “lesbian-interrupted-by-the-plumber” plotline beloved of another cinematic sub-genre. Spank me, girls.

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Testy Aliens

If I’d thought about it for a second before, I’d have guessed that there were blogs written in Klingon, but I do like that the first one I’ve actually “read” is called “bo logh“.

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Indispensable

Wikipedia will eventually triumph over all other existing encyclopedias. Does any edition of Britannica or Encarta have a “List of films ordered by the use of the word ‘fuck’“? Yesterday’s featured article was about philosopher and socialist Hilary Putnam, who is the Putnam in the “Quine-Putnam indispensability thesis” and definitely my kind of thinker. (By […]

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Boll et al.

While I’m on the subject of academics writing rot and being called on it, I discovered this weekend that Uwe Boll, widely criticized as one of the worst directors of all time, has a doctorate in literature. An IMDb contributor reviews a work from his oeuvre, the videogame-“inspired” Alone In The Dark, like this: “[T]he […]

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Tossers

Note to government advertisers: this is how to make disposing of litter cool. (Of course, Defra or whoever’s responsible could be showing ads like this already, but I wouldn’t have seen them because I don’t have a TV.)

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My Kind Of Loser

Al Gore seemed to have been engineered by a mad scientist to become President of the United States of America: born in Washington DC to a former senator, elite education, lots of practice being Vice-President to one of the more distracted actual Presidents, George W. Bush for his opponent, tall, good hair. How could it […]

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Fat Isn’t A Feminist Issue

Two special Ks from the Beeb’s Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 première gallery: Kelly—a figure lusted after by many men Keira—a figure aspired to by many women I used to work with a bright, attractive, independent woman. She even maintained her own classic car. (She’s the only female I’ve ever met who owned her own […]

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