I had a copy of The Daily Telegraph (aka The Torygraph) because it’s always worth reading the opposition press on a day of Labour Party smugness. [TEN YEARS OF A CHANCELLOR WHO KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING, YOU TORY BASTARDS! TEN YEARS! HE MAY BE A ONE-EYED WONK FROM PLANET MEDDLE, BUT HE’S OUTPERFORMED EVERY SORRY […]
Read MoreDisplaying his usual deftness, cuddly old Boris takes on the question of religious dress in schools in today’s Telegraph. You could summarise the first part of his contribution thusly: “That Shabina Begum: even dressed like a pillar box you’d do her, wouldn’t you?” And, as usual, he has a point.
Read MoreThe Guardian today prints Jimmy Carter’s peace plan for the Middle East: Israel should withdraw from the occupied territories, and its right to exist must be recognised by all Arabs. Thanks, Jimmy.
Read MoreWhen I was about nine years old I told a bunch of advancing micro-racists that I wasn’t scared of them because “Jesus was on my side”. That the Son of God was shamefully absent throughout my subsequent twatting should have been a lesson to me then, but it was a few more years before I […]
Read MoreAbove the usual manufactured outrage headline on the front page of the Daily Mail this morning I read the following smaller banner: He’s quizzed over £350 000 “bribe”. Their home is remortgaged three times in four years. Yet not once, says Tessa Jowell, did she ask her husband: “What the hell is going on, darling?” Crikey. […]
Read MoreHarry’s Place has a story from Islam Online claiming that Norway has brought in a law that punishes blasphemy by fine or imprisonment. There doesn’t seem to be any confirmation of this from any other source. This means we have reached the point at which we can read a report on an imaginary change in […]
Read MoreIt’s like the holocaust. No, it’s like Soviet labour camps. It’s like all the baddest things that ever happened all rolled into one evil Blairite slippery end of the wedge of straw on the camel’s back. Bring me my blunderbuss, Elaine, and put another sandbag in the conservatory! I’ll shoot the last bally one of […]
Read MoreJason Donovan, has-been popstar Tony Blair, wannabe popstar
Read MoreWhile I’m on the subject, during much of my youth, lazy, stupid, ungrateful, talentless, illiterate, violent, and very very ugly white people would daily tell me to fuck off “back home”. They were wrong to do so. They would, however, be right to tell the sorts of lazy, stupid, etc brown people who wave banners […]
Read MoreVia Botheration comes this nice Charles Kennedy, er, come-back recorded by The Independent reporting on his meeting the people: Mr Kennedy was greeted warmly… ‘I love you, Charles,’ said one elderly lady pushing to shake his hand. “Don’t start any tabloid scandal,” he said.
Read MoreThe idea that there’s Someone Up There watching over us? Or even just that there’s Something that surrounds us and penetrates us, that binds the galaxy together? Sadly, it’s bollocks. But it’s nice to be able to say so in public.
Read MoreToday I had a visitor (apparently) from a machine in Brent Town Council’s offices. He/she came looking for “fat young girls”. In connection with which of that London Borough’s administration’s published Objectives do you think the individual responsible was making such an enquiry?: Supporting children and young people Attain, retain and develop excellent staff Increasing […]
Read MoreGEORGE GORRAWAY MP: Yes, m’lud. That is indeed myself, naked before one of the sons of the Rightful Ruler of that noble yet tragically violated Arab nation, attempting to excite his flaccid member by gently stroking its tip with my moustache whiskers, whilst simultaneously drowning two screaming Kurdish orphan children below the surface of the […]
Read MoreI don’t agree with a lot of what she says, but I think Mary Madigan at Exit Zero has a very interesting angle on Iran: What should we do about Iran? We should do nothing. Seriously. When a belligerent little foaming-at-the-mouth nation shouts about nukes, they expect us to pay attention to them. This encourages […]
Read MoreI may have given the impression during the existence of this ‘Blog that I am something of a nerd, but I’m telling you, people: you haven’t lived until you’ve pulled up outside the best hotel in town in a written-off car with the front bumper howling as it scrapes on one of the tyres; handed […]
Read MoreJackie is of course right to be disgusted with Alastair Campbell admitting that both he and the Prime Minister are clueless about computers. She is wrong to make any connection between this and their being employees of the state. Many senior managers in large UK organisations, both public and private sector, are incompetent because once […]
Read MoreGINGA I could be well moved, if I were as you: If I could pray to move, prayers would move me: But I am constant as the Commons Bar, Of whose true-fix’d refreshing quality There is no fellow among vintners. The streets are linéd with unnumber’d pubs, They are all fine and every one doth […]
Read MoreI do a spoof in-prison Saddam Hussein custard endorsement and within days the Guardian is reporting that Saddam’s tailor can’t keep up with the demand for his courtroom “look”. I write a fake Guardian article complaining about better educated students graduating to vote Tory and the same newspaper follows it up by reporting on hardening […]
Read MoreA lot of people have accused you of being a sort of “Blair-lite”. How would you respond to that? Apart from anything else, how do you feel about Mr Blair as a person? Yah, well, y’know Tony was really rather good about my taking over the Conservative Party. He sent me a congratulatory letter and […]
Read MoreAs a Labour Party member I received my New Year’s email from comrade Tone this morning. Its title is “Britain in strong position for 2006”.
Read MoreEh! Eh! Calm down! Yes, I parenthetically threatened to kick Harold Pinter’s hospital bed for his drivelling on about the US foreign policy, but I have a lot to do right now. If I do put the boot in it won’t be before the weekend because I need a nice unbroken slot of time to […]
Read MoreThe prominent mayor Was quick to declare That Jews were amongst his best friends And he only hated them at weekends.
Read MoreSince GrammarPuss has been at it lately, and I have just got off the train after a pleasantly alcoholic dinner and an unpleasant wade through the shoddy prose of Harold Pinter’s Nobel speech* I’d like to share with you my language gripes of the moment. You should only use “the latter” when you are referring […]
Read MoreFurther to my controversial (and originally wrong) post about Thatcher’s educational history, Chris Brooke notes that the current Conservative Shadow Cabinet has a lot of susstificates—albeit mostly ones in subjects classified as belonging to the humanities.
Read MoreOn Friday Saturday evening, I went out for a noisy drink with Mr and Mrs Wardytron, their livejournal friend Jim(?) and a posse of goths. Thank you, Wardy, for inviting me. It was fun. One of the few serious topics of conversation that came up was the new Conservative Party leader. It’s not been often […]
Read More…and the lowest unemployment since the Roman invasion of AD 54. [Cries of “Hear hear!” from Labour benches.] In the last fourteen quarters, under this Labour government, the seasonally adjusted Hall-Oates coefficient has remained within a fifth of a percent of its optimum range and this year the Ciccone measure is at its highest level […]
Read MoreI’ve a good mind to drive round to that Andrew Bloggers4Labour and take a sledgehammer to his server. Since he started aggregating comments as well as posts it feels like PooterGeek has been under siege. Now, as regulars know, when someone’s got me bang to rights (see below), I own up, but please, people, can […]
Read MoreHak has a nice story about the fall of Thatch. I remember spending a day at work singing “Ding dong, the witch is dead!” I’m pleased that the Wikipedia entry about her corrects the strangely widespread myth that she achieved a Double First at Oxford. The truth is she collected a Desmond—and I think we […]
Read More…but, having read three different people write recently that British ‘Bloggers are united in their opposition to ID cards, I’d just say that I think they will be rather handy actually. I’d like my medical data stored on mine too, if that’s okay with everyone. Not only can I see no sound principled case against […]
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