Categories

Shopping

“It’s not the despair; I can cope with the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand.”

Cornershop Man watches every single cricket international he can on his satellite TV under the counter—and, unlike me, he fails the Tebbit test. At the start of the week, I asked him: “Suppose you’re looking forward to whupping England’s backsides?” “Hmm,” he inhaled, “I don’t know. You’ve got some good bowlers with you. You could […]

Read More

Mini-Me

A lot of people spend their youth experimenting. As my mother often tells people who really don’t want to know, I spent my youth experimenting: with chemicals, electricity, and the flora and fauna of Birmingham’s green belt. Just like my peers who took part in drug parties, random sexual coupling, and street violence—I suppose I […]

Read More

Scent Of A Geek

Thanks to this blog, I know it’s been two years since I last acquired a new bottle of cologne/aftershave. Once again, I’m unable to replace the one I’ve finished because, during my months of sparing use, the fragrance my sister bought me back then (itself the nearest approximation to its discontinued predecessor) has been discontinued. […]

Read More

Timing

This afternoon, I walked through my door and picked up this week’s local free newspaper, The Brighton and Hove Leader. Amongst the insert spam included today was a glossy advert for Forbes TV rentals, inviting me to hire a flatscreen TV in time for the Beijing Olympics 2008 and a brochure inviting me to come […]

Read More

Nokia 6300 Review

I had to replace my mobile phone recently, so I deliberately downgraded. After perfunctory Internet research, I got a Nokia 6300. If you are not one of the Young People and you use your phone for business then it is a most excellent tool. If you want to blog or surf the Net from your […]

Read More

My Celebrity Stalkers

On Saturday, I was one of two customers in a tiny local deli until Nick Cave walked in, dressed head-to-toe in black and accompanied by his children in white judo outfits. I toyed with the idea of getting His Caveness to sign my olives, but that would have taken the weirdness one step too far. […]

Read More

Shot Down

Thanks in part to you lot, I have for some time been the top hit on Google for “film photographer“, which doesn’t do my business any harm. Anyone familiar with my style of photography will understand why I am disturbed by the news story on the BBC Website that’s currently in the number three position: […]

Read More

Transports Of Detroit

This video not only contains a collection of excellent car-buying advice (which is almost as useful in the UK as in the USA), but a fine lesson in how to use presentation software to support a talk and in how to give a talk that’s no longer than it needs to be.

Read More

Toshiba Tecra A8 Review

As I admitted yesterday, I’ve taken part in Talk Toshiba‘s blogger outreach programme. I thoroughly approve of this sort of thing. Not only does it make bloggers feel even more important than we already think we are, but it allows us to play with shiny things for free. (It’s also a boon to those with […]

Read More

Unseen Square Footage

A couple of years back I planned a new running scenario on PooterGeek: Tora-Bora-nation Street. The idea was simple: Tony Blair and the rest of his family would drop into the local Corrie-style corner shop from time to time and I would depict their developing relationship with the new proprietors—with the Blairs unaware that the […]

Read More

Dave The Rave

I listened to Gordon Brown’s first Prime Minister’s Questions as actual Prime Minister yesterday. If you put the substance of the “debate” aside (as the laws of contemporary British journalism require all commentators to do) then David Cameron made Gordon Brown sound a bit rickety. The good thing for our democracy is that, before most […]

Read More

Geek Rock

Last week, Steve Wright interviewed Paul McCartney on BBC Radio 2. At one point, Wright asked him about his latest single. The track is exactly what you would expect of Lord Macca of Loch Kodak: completely insubstantial and terminally catchy. It’s called Dance Tonight. It’s about how everybody is going to dance tonight—and have a good time, […]

Read More

Where The Wind Comes Sweepin’ Down The Plain

Scientific research has confirmed that, finally, everything is on the Internet. This woman sells $40 000-worth of tumbleweed a year online. Does the phrase “organic tumbleweed farm” make you think of tanned hippie chicks and hippie fellas on mountain bikes corralling rolling bushes into enclosures as swirls of dust drift across the prairie around them? It […]

Read More

If This Is The Answer…

They call themselves “Paramount Vehicle Solutions“, perhaps because the vehicles they sell are seen by some as a solution to the problem of having a small penis, but would you hand over seventy thousand pounds to someone who thinks the plural of “Aston Martin” is “Aston Martin’s”?

Read More

Snapshots From My Glamorous Life

Last week, I noticed a registered Brighton & Hove taxi parked outside the Muslim community centre. Prominent on the dashboard was a hardback copy of Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion. A couple of days later I saw the car (and the book) again. This time the vehicle was being attended to by two of B&H’s […]

Read More

The Low Spark Of High Heel Boy

Last week, as part of my continuing journey into girly, I was photographing ladies’ fashions and domestic interiors for i gigi and the i gigi General Store. I recommend that you pop down to the latter at 37 Western Road in Brighton because it is truly a sight to see. This is a shop that looks like […]

Read More

Slap It On

The best thing about this site selling spray-on hair is the completely honest promotional image in the top-right-hand corner of the front page. In it, Mr SprayOnHair has whipped round quickly to prevent the admiring woman with her hands on his shoulder from stroking the top of his head and coming away with a palm […]

Read More

It’s All In The Hanging

Jogging from the bank yesterday evening to catch Richard Brincklow‘s in-store performance at Passenger‘s launch of their new single [buy it now!*], I stopped to photograph this: Regulars will know that I am not an admirer of Banksy’s work, but circumstances and the shrewd planning of the staff at artrepublic temporarily turned the 2006 effort […]

Read More

A Message From Our Sponsors

The previous post included my first paid link to Amazon. In future, when I recommend a book or CD or DVD here I’ll link to its Amazon page. I always used to do this anyway because it was convenient. It also happens that I am a frequent Amazon customer and that their service has always […]

Read More

Overheard In The Newsagent’s

Remember this place? Yesterday I’m in there and a middle-aged white bloke in a cravat is sounding off at the (Gujarati) proprietor as the nearest consultable expert on the question of contemporary Indian pulchritude. “Everybody says that one on Big Brother is beautiful, but I’ve seen better. She’s very pale skinned. I wonder if she […]

Read More

Grammar Horror

[Brace yourself, dad.] I’m shopping around for a colocation service—crudely, a secure shed with a big pipe to the Net where I can install a server. As you’d expect I’ve been checking out local companies. One I won’t be using is Intramedia. The front page of their Website is dominated by what I suppose I […]

Read More

Christmas Cuteness

My niece spent most of the holiday either (briefly) naked or (for the vast majority of the time) dressed in one of her hideous Disney-licensed “Princess™” costumes. For the family photographer this was deeply, deeply frustrating. Here’s the best I could do under the circumstances. I took these on black-and-white film of course. You’d scratch […]

Read More

Nokia PC Suite Connection Tip

[Warning: This post is slightly geeky.] I have to clean up and transfer all my mobile phone contacts from my old to my new phone before I move to a new provider tomorrow—thereby saving about two-thirds on my mobile bill. For Friends of the Geek (and clients) reading this, my mobile number will remain unchanged, […]

Read More

The Lynx Effect

Once again this year the members of my family, both biological and legal, were generous with their hospitality and presents. My thanks to them all. They are good to me despite having lived with me through that stage in my life when I wore far too much of some nasty aftershaves. Most of my family […]

Read More

Not Gay Trousers

Heaven knows why he chose me, but I have been asked by its proprietor to direct some PooterGeek Google karma in the direction of this “queer shirts’n’gifts” site: LGBTees.com, a shop that proves there’s more to LGBT apparel than rainbows. Apropos of nothing, I invite you to marvel at one of my niece Maisie’s Christmas […]

Read More
Older Posts