My legal adviser tells me that all members of the UK Independence Party are sane, sensible, and not closet racists at all. Google tells me that their Isle Of Wight branch’s lilac campaign caravan, the completely non-racistly named “Wight Knight”, is the seventh hit for a search on Google Images for my name. Why is […]
Read MoreIf you’ve emailed me recently—today, that is—I probably won’t have received it (yet). I have exceeded my data storage quota with my hosts. This is entirely my fault for allowing myself to be distracted by another Web project. Ironically most of my excess data take the form of huge visitor logs. Yes, I can’t read […]
Read MoreAfter a hard day’s coding [yeah, you thought I’d put that crap behind me too], there’s nothing like settling down in front of your monitor to watch the latest movie trailers online. The one(s) for Basic Instinct in particular is/are gloriously bad. I was going to write a few paragraphs marvelling at David Morrissey’s ability […]
Read MoreI received a 352kb email message last week from a hotel confirming my two-night booking. I hope they have a gym where their staff can burn off that kind of excess.
Read MoreThanks to PooterGeek’s hosts upgrading their servers, I’ve been getting a lot of spam lately, but guess what: some of the stuff they try to sell you in those emails really works. Women were powerless to resist Damian’s bubbly new look. I also need to buy some looser trousers.
Read MoreI can only imagine that a sexually frustrated militant Deaf separatist would go searching the Web for pictures of “naked deaf girls”, but you lot might know better. UPDATE: For anyone brought here by such a search in the future, Deafs.com might get you closer to your goal.
Read MoreThis is a message for magmavander in Hyères les Palmiers. I am trying to send you a link to another rough mix, but your wanadoo address is bouncing as non-existent. Please email me an alternative contact. Thank you.
Read MoreI was browsing a newsagent’s shelf the other day at a rail station and noticed that, given the current unrest, February’s Wired has an unfortunate cover: Ironically, as Slashdot notes today, the Wired Website carries an interesting report today on some research into misunderstanding the intended tone of emails. As if you needed telling, email […]
Read MoreIf any of you have been forced to look at the old, purple, Movable Type version of PooterGeek lately it’s because my hosts, who claimed they would have finished their upgrades by Friday, decided to move all my data to a new server this weekend. The first I knew about it was a note in […]
Read MoreThis post is to echo the message Norm kindly hosted for me earlier today when I was offline: this week you should expect the signals from PooterGeek to be unreliable any time up until Thursday midnight because my Web hosts are upgrading the software running their servers. You can, however, count on the content here […]
Read MoreToday I had a visitor (apparently) from a machine in Brent Town Council’s offices. He/she came looking for “fat young girls”. In connection with which of that London Borough’s administration’s published Objectives do you think the individual responsible was making such an enquiry?: Supporting children and young people Attain, retain and develop excellent staff Increasing […]
Read MorePooterGeek was only intermittently available over the weekend because of network problems. It’s back now—sort of.
Read MoreLast year or the year before, following a request on PooterGeek for you lot to suggest somewhere I might buy a bridge computer for my dad for Christmas, I ordered one for him from DreamDirect. DreamDirect is an evil chimera of The Gadget Shop and SAGA magazine: apart from selling fine handheld bridge computers, their […]
Read MoreBusy busy busy. Go read Google News, peeps.
Read MoreYesterday evening PooterGeek was down for several hours while my hosts did some maintenance. Sorry about that. It will probably also be quiet around here today while I back various files up in a locking-the-stable-door kind of way.
Read MoreGirls, please don’t all throw your virtual knickers at me at once, but I once reviewed a book on how to use Google for the UK UNIX Users’ Group magazine, subsequently republished in the official magazine of the American Accounting Association—or something like that. After reading the book, I became a Google ninja. By way […]
Read MoreI’m plugging wires in. Come back tomorrow.
Read MoreAs I’ve mentioned before, I won’t have Net access from home until the end of November and neither will I have a landline. I am now down to 20 minutes of talk time with Orange and they won’t let me upgrade (even temporarily) until the 19th. According to the advertised tariff, every minute I’m on […]
Read MoreAccording to NTL, “DunGeekin”, my new home by the sea, won’t have a landline or broadband connection until the end of November. That means half-baked anecdotes about life in Brighton & Hove until December for you lot, not that my recent boring content seems to have inhibited your commenting here. Today, I’ll mostly be buying […]
Read MoreThey came to install my broadband connection yesterday and the news was bad. Apparently the main cable is too far away and they’re going to have to “get Construction in” to move the access point nearer to the building and bring a link up to my flat—two weeks minimum before I’m back online properly. Sorry, […]
Read MoreThings really really will be quiet around here for the next few days because I am moving from Cambridge to Brighton this week. During this time there will be a period of complete Internet “cold turkey”. Pray for me. See ya, Tabland. I’d like to say it’s been a blast, but I’d be lying.
Read MoreOne of my correspondents—quite possibly someone in Canada—has a dose of I-Worm/Mytob.HL. Please could you do something about it because I’m getting bored of the infected spam your machine is sending me. Thank you.
Read MoreThis page is starting to appear in my referers: “Alice (9/22/05 6:26 pm) Ralph story I was browsing online and I came across this weird mocking story of Ralph. It isn’t the best story but I found it amusing. here’s the link: www.pootergeek.com/?p=1725 ArcticLady (9/23/05 7:30 am) Reply humph… I don’t know the owner of […]
Read More[Before you read the article I link to below, those of you not up with geeky three letter acronyms need to know that “IRC” stands for “Internet Relay Chat”, which is like Microsoft Messenger for the sort of people who build their own PCs.] Related to the “people you wish you didn’t fancy” thread (which […]
Read MoreI am told by PooterGeekers, including the currently-one-armed Hot Wheels Helena, that they come here by typing “poo” into their Web browsers and letting auto-complete do the rest. Be careful that the rest of the URL is filled in before you hit “Return” or, like Hot Wheels, you are likely to find yourself at the […]
Read MoreSomeone visited PooterGeek today having been referred here by a search [link not safe for work] on “yacht insurance dot uk dot com” for “spanking boys”.
Read MoreDont you just hate the way when you are googling for someone and you type in, say, “Laurence.Rittenour”, Google thinks for a microsecond, comes back with no hits, and asks “Did you mean: ‘Laurence.Ritenour‘? And you think, “Yeah, I probably did”, and you click on the corrected link that Google so helpfully provides. Then Google […]
Read MoreWhat’s most pleasing about Google’s April Fool joke today is that its text is shot through with the sort of pseudoscientific nonsense that infests thousands of real products’ copy.
Read MoreSomeone was brought here yesterday by a search for “Get your Colonial Shame off my breasts”. What they really wanted was this [safe for work]. Other recent PooterGeek hits: “sinn fein mobile download” “truckers favourite gay sex stop” “chav style home decor” “billie piper breasts” “nice things to do for your boyfriend” “big breasted landladies” […]
Read More
Recent Comments