October 2005

Yet Another Apology

As I’ve mentioned before, I won’t have Net access from home until the end of November and neither will I have a landline. I am now down to 20 minutes of talk time with Orange and they won’t let me upgrade (even temporarily) until the 19th. According to the advertised tariff, every minute I’m on […]

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International Playboy

This photo from my leaving do in Cambridge demonstrates the stunning improvement in my luck with the ladeez as a result of carefully spreading rumours about the size of my redundancy package: Jo, inventor of “Shouty Woman”, is on the left; Hot Wheels Helena is on the right. [click to enlarge]

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Not So Simply

UPDATE: Here’s a picture of Kate’s excellent hair (Freya in the foreground, Richard in the background): [click to enlarge] My friend and musical collaborator Richard and his missus Kate had me round for dinner the other evening and we got into a conversation about the recent Observer Music Monthly list of “larger-than-life” performers (i.e. fat […]

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Pedantry/IKEA Update

There’s a title to set your pants ablaze. Thanks firstly to Hot Wheels for correcting my spectacular error with the twenty-four-hour clock in my IKEA post. Thanks secondly to Tomodachi at Susurration for drawing his readers’ attention to the ‘Blogrollicity of two of us on his list simultaneously losing it in the aforementioned shop. Despite […]

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A Long Way For A Bad Joke

[The image jitters, there is a thump as the sound comes on, and a haggard, hair-covered face fills the frame. Veils of windswept snow crystals twist and drift across the view.] SIR RANULPH FIENNES [for it is he]: Bally thing’s playing silly buggers again. Hello! Hello! Michael! MIKE IN THE STUDIO: Sir Ranulph! Can you […]

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Continuing Deprivation

According to NTL, “DunGeekin”, my new home by the sea, won’t have a landline or broadband connection until the end of November. That means half-baked anecdotes about life in Brighton & Hove until December for you lot, not that my recent boring content seems to have inhibited your commenting here. Today, I’ll mostly be buying […]

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Senior Moment

In a way, I’m glad I don’t have proper Internet access. The BBC radio news yesterday evening was apocalyptically depressing. How much global death, disaster, and destruction is it possible to fit into one broadcast? Pakistan, Mexico, South-East Asia. The latest Economist—a journal not normally known for “quagmire” rhetoric—welcomes the Iraqi people’s recent vote on […]

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Unmarried Bliss

I bought a bed (well, two futon-sofas) yesterday. I haven’t put it together yet, but even sleeping on the mattress alone was a huge improvement on sleeping on the floor, where I developed a serious neckache and dreamt, amongst other strange things, about driving Santa’s sleigh—pulled by the usual reindeer, plus a fox. While I […]

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Go, Joan!

I wish I had the access time to weigh in detail over the Joan Rivers vs Darcus Howe fight on BBC Radio 4, especially as I have also encountered this annoying inverted racism from black people who object to my not referring to myself as “black” (or, indeed, “white”) and then accuse me of having […]

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Move Along

As usual during this ongoing PooterGeek Net access famine you won’t find much from me to entertain you here today. You could follow some of the “Most Recent Comments” links over on the right. What is it with you people and pasta? Or you could read this item over at Harry’s Place which has already […]

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Laddered

They came to install my broadband connection yesterday and the news was bad. Apparently the main cable is too far away and they’re going to have to “get Construction in” to move the access point nearer to the building and bring a link up to my flat—two weeks minimum before I’m back online properly. Sorry, […]

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Blanket Apology

For anyone who’s waiting for an email reply from me or even evidence that I am still alive, please accept my apologies and this ‘Blog post. I was unloading my belongings until 2:00 am this morning and have been sleeping on the floor for the past couple of days. I’ll be back to something like […]

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No, That’s Not A Postage Stamp!

Yeah, it looks like a marble, but there’s a whole other universe in there. But you can’t see it, right? ‘Cause it’s folded up into one of the other twelve dimensions, ‘kay? Blue, man. I’ve never seen anything so blue. Hey. Your hair is, like, moving and there’s no wind. One day, I’m not just […]

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Pulling The Plug(s)

Things really really will be quiet around here for the next few days because I am moving from Cambridge to Brighton this week. During this time there will be a period of complete Internet “cold turkey”. Pray for me. See ya, Tabland. I’d like to say it’s been a blast, but I’d be lying.

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Lest We Forget

Today is Saddam Hussein’s 666th day in captivity. As a mark of my respect for the legal head of the sovereign state of Iraq, currently imprisoned by the quislings of the Imperialists’ puppet regime, I am ‘Blogging this in my underpants.

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Family Stuff

Congratulations to my sister who, in the early hours of this morning, had a boy, Samuel, to go with her almost exactly three-year-old girl, Maisie. (This is typical of Clare’s bombproof organisational skills.) Congrats to my brother-in-law too who is a top dad. Get well soon to my mum, who, annoyingly, went into hospital this […]

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Talking Of La La

Scott Ritter is on BBC Radio Bloke right now. His opening argument is that Bush Snr was wrong because he was obsessed with removal of Saddam Hussein’s regime above all else. And that he was wrong because he stopped the first Iraq war before regime change. Now he is comparing Bush Jnr and Blair to […]

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Certified By A Chartered Surveyor

I am starting a new category on PooterGeek: “Mad As A House”. This will be for the looniest reality-denying tales of British property market craziness I read online. Here’s my first example. You know those “money surgery” type articles they have in the weekend broadsheets where some thirtysomething media drone living in London on £28K […]

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Sven Speaks

“Yes-erh, well-erh, I’m erhfraid we in Englanddd feerhl that-erh Austrierh arerh not yet-erh ready to be admitteddd to full-erh memberrrship of therh Worlddd Cup-erh Finalss. I’ddd alsso like to take thisss opp-erh-tunity to say ‘Heh‘. “By therh way, I very much lik-erh what you herhf done with yerh hair, young lady. Woulddd you be ffree […]

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PooterGeek Snr Writes In Guardian Shocker

I’m not returning to normal ‘Blogging just yet, but those of you who still buy the rag might be interested to know that today, opposite the Graun‘s editorial “The blogging generation”, there’s a letter from my dad displaying geopolitical and musical insight of the calibre that keeps people all over the World coming back to […]

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PooterGlitches

People are emailing me to say that PooterGeek is flickering in and out of life at the moment, both the front page and the RSS feed. I could invent some gibberish explanation for this weirdness, but I really don’t know the reason for the current strange behaviour of the Pooter-server(s) and I haven’t the time […]

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Too Busy To Blog

Normal service will be resumed in a few days. Here’s a joke adapted from the Motley Fool. Talk amongst yourselves. A cabbie in London picks up a leggy nun. The cab driver can’t stop staring in the mirror. He says, “I have a question to ask, but I dont want to offend you”. “My son, […]

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