Please believe me, I found this unfortunate intersection of micro-celebrities when I was looking for reflectors for bouncing off-camera flashguns. Using a reflector and a diffuser together, even a geek like me can capture a girlfriend.
Read MoreWith a fierce flick of the bedside lamp switch, José’s broodingly handsome features were thrown into gloomy relief. In an instant Tami stirred beside him, her trim, petite body sweeping upward from the Egyptian cotton to wrap him in a supportive embrace. “What is troubling you at such an hour, my love?” she asked, watching […]
Read MoreResponding to the unusually early death of actor Chris Penn, Squander Two writes about acting—and explains much of my problem with (British) theatre: If only Sean Penn were anywhere near as talented as his brother, his films wouldn’t be so irritatingly tedious. Cintra Wilson’s right: truly great acting is something you don’t even notice. That’s […]
Read MoreThe Simpsons at its best gave us some of the finest television ever broadcast. Here’s how it’s made. [via Slashdot]
Read MorePeace-loving, anti-gun, has-been “urban” popstress Ms Dynamite, who re-wrote George Michael’s “Faith” for the pre-Iraq War Brit Awards to include the declaration “I don’t want blood on my hands”, has been accused of having the blood of a female police officer on her hands.
Read MoreI do a spoof in-prison Saddam Hussein custard endorsement and within days the Guardian is reporting that Saddam’s tailor can’t keep up with the demand for his courtroom “look”. I write a fake Guardian article complaining about better educated students graduating to vote Tory and the same newspaper follows it up by reporting on hardening […]
Read MoreKelly Brook is extraordinarily beautiful, but, as anyone who has seen her on TV knows, she’s not going to dazzle you with an informed précis of neo-Kantianism or a layperson’s account of the interesting physical properties of the fullerenes. Because of this you can admire her in the abstract, like the Taj Mahal, say, knowing […]
Read MoreIt passed me by because I was busy participating in a traditional British lemming trundle along a motorway*, but, now I have had a chance to catch up with it, I think I have just read John Simpson’s final serious news report. It is in many ways a frightening document; I am afraid on his […]
Read MoreThe prominent mayor Was quick to declare That Jews were amongst his best friends And he only hated them at weekends.
Read MorePlayboy gives up playing with Barbie-girl to play with Sindy doll. Barbie “devastated”.
Read MoreMedia composer Richard subscribes to various lists that offers work for people in his business. As with much of the media world, those offering gigs are fully aware of the desperation of celebrity wannabes to get any kind of experience—so they pay accordingly: peanuts or less. To use the jargon, they take the piss. Such […]
Read More[HARRISON FORD is dressed in an expensive suit. It is crumpled from his being forced to sit on the floor, tied to a pipe in a stainless steel room full of hi-tech equipment. POOTERGEEK enters. He is wearing a collarless grey jacket and matching trousers and carrying a fluffy white CAT. He is not sure […]
Read MoreYesterday in the Guardian Nicky Campbell joined the minority of press commentators who have mentioned recently deceased footballer George Best’s tendency to slap women around. He did so with a telling quote from one of Best’s exes: “I adored George, and do you know what? In almost two and half years together he only hit […]
Read MoreIt wasn’t until Patrick Anson (aka “Patrick Lichfield”, “5th Earl of Lichfield“) died recently that I realised that he and Anthony Armstrong-Jones (aka “Lord Snowdon”, “First Earl of Snowdon“) were two distinct people, taking photographs and doing very nicely out of their royal connections. Today’s mission, should you choose to accept it, PooterGeekers, is to […]
Read MoreYou Don’t Want To Do That, a new BBC reality radio show, will follow a group of potential recruits to the Samaritans as they attempt to become full-time counsellors to the suicidal, the depressed, and the lonely. In this preview recording of the first episode, the hopefuls are thrown right into the deep end. They […]
Read MoreThere’s a boring article about Eton College, Britain’s most famous independent (that is fee-charging—or perhaps that should be fee-fixing) school, in today’s Guardian. Like most of the recent boring articles in the press about Eton, it begins with the question of whether or not, since the inverted snobbery of the Thatcher era washed through the […]
Read More[Brassy 50s light music plays. We see archive black-and-white shots of men in flat caps and striped scarves spinning rattles round and cheering on footballers dressed in long baggy shorts, moving jerkily as they kick a sodden leather ball about a rain-soaked ground. Behind the “Roy Of The Rovers” credits, a man with bad teeth […]
Read MoreDo you think couturiers these days carefully measure up the rich and/or famous and then offer them a choice between a garment that, when first worn, will fit perfectly and one that will fall off in a precisely calibrated way in public? [Thank you to my beautiful assistant, Leasey, for this one.]
Read MoreI think I may be in lust with the non-blonde two of Marks & Spencer’s new womenswear models: Erin O’Connor and Noemie Lenoir. (You’ve got to wonder, though, about about a woman (Erin) who was dumped by Jamie Theakston, rather than dumping him herself.)
Read MoreHe’s educated, rich, famous, good looking, second in line to the throne of the fourth largest economy on the planet, and a large proportion of the female population under the age of forty would like to sleep with him. So naturally you buy him an Aston Villa season ticket. That’ll teach him the meaning of […]
Read MoreFurther to the ginge-rock question, my Oirish friend Cathal emailed to point us at this Red Pride site, where there are plenty of copper-topped celebs.
Read MoreUPDATE: Here’s a picture of Kate’s excellent hair (Freya in the foreground, Richard in the background): [click to enlarge] My friend and musical collaborator Richard and his missus Kate had me round for dinner the other evening and we got into a conversation about the recent Observer Music Monthly list of “larger-than-life” performers (i.e. fat […]
Read More[The image jitters, there is a thump as the sound comes on, and a haggard, hair-covered face fills the frame. Veils of windswept snow crystals twist and drift across the view.] SIR RANULPH FIENNES [for it is he]: Bally thing’s playing silly buggers again. Hello! Hello! Michael! MIKE IN THE STUDIO: Sir Ranulph! Can you […]
Read MoreI wish I had the access time to weigh in detail over the Joan Rivers vs Darcus Howe fight on BBC Radio 4, especially as I have also encountered this annoying inverted racism from black people who object to my not referring to myself as “black” (or, indeed, “white”) and then accuse me of having […]
Read MoreToday is Saddam Hussein’s 666th day in captivity. As a mark of my respect for the legal head of the sovereign state of Iraq, currently imprisoned by the quislings of the Imperialists’ puppet regime, I am ‘Blogging this in my underpants.
Read MoreScott Ritter is on BBC Radio Bloke right now. His opening argument is that Bush Snr was wrong because he was obsessed with removal of Saddam Hussein’s regime above all else. And that he was wrong because he stopped the first Iraq war before regime change. Now he is comparing Bush Jnr and Blair to […]
Read More“Yes-erh, well-erh, I’m erhfraid we in Englanddd feerhl that-erh Austrierh arerh not yet-erh ready to be admitteddd to full-erh memberrrship of therh Worlddd Cup-erh Finalss. I’ddd alsso like to take thisss opp-erh-tunity to say ‘Heh‘. “By therh way, I very much lik-erh what you herhf done with yerh hair, young lady. Woulddd you be ffree […]
Read More“Kate Moss to spend month in £2,250-a-night US clinic” Just think of all the coke you could buy with that kind of money.
Read MoreFollowing on from the satisfyingly successful “Embarrassed And Mystified“, PooterGeek now invites you to come up with two more celebrities’ names. To comment on this thread you must cite someone in the public eye you consider to be talentless, crooked, annoying or otherwise undeserving of the admiration they get, but you can’t help liking; and […]
Read MoreThis page is starting to appear in my referers: “Alice (9/22/05 6:26 pm) Ralph story I was browsing online and I came across this weird mocking story of Ralph. It isn’t the best story but I found it amusing. here’s the link: www.pootergeek.com/?p=1725 ArcticLady (9/23/05 7:30 am) Reply humph… I don’t know the owner of […]
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